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1. The “when you absolutely, positively have to get there in a hurry” award — To the sex shop in Alabama that opened up a drive through window.

2. The “nothing says I don’t love you like self-immolation” award — To the women who tried to set herself on fire at the G-20 summit.

3. The “Constitution? What Constitution?” award — To the school in Sacramento, California (where else?) that made a boy take the American flag off his bicycle because it might cause “racial tension”.

4. The “don’t do as I do, do as I say” award — To Obama’s committee for overseeing waste in the stimulus plan for having their meeting at the Ritz-Carlton in Phoenix.

5. The “go ahead, jump” award –to the web cam viewers who encouraged the Japanese man to commit suicide on the internet. Honorable mention to the deceased for not disappointing his adoring audience.

6. The “they said it couldn’t be done” award — to Celebrity Cruise Lines for coming up with a cruise where all the passengers actually lost weight.

 And the top winner for this edition of “they did what?”

7. The “I’ll keep doing this until the stupid voters get it right” award — to Nancy Pelosi for her decision to keeping “leading” the democrats in Congress.