This past weekend, police arrested two brothers for robbing a Dunkin’ Donuts store in Canton, Massachusetts. As it turns out, they may be responsible for robbing more than 30 Dunkin’ Donuts stores in the Boston area. http://www.thebostonchannel.com/r/29759799/detail.html
OK, to begin with, I will admit I’ve never met a donut I didn’t like. In fact, my youngest granddaughter accuses me of going to church strictly because they have donuts at the fellowship hour afterward. Why, just the other night I was saying to some friends at a meeting, “Hi, my name is Al and I’m a donutholic.”
Anyway, my addiction is not so bad that I have resorted to robbing Dunkin’ Donuts. I’ve fantasized about it yes, but that’s all. So you can understand that I have some empathy for these two brothers. Oh sure, the police say they were desperate for money and in fact they did take cash drawers and break into safes while committing these crimes. But I alone see through this charade. Taking the money was their cover, what they really wanted was the donuts. They’re just in denial. I can remember the relief I felt the first time I went to a Donuts Anonymous meeting and bared my soul. But that’s a story for another blog.
“Oh, and please give me two sour creams with that cash drawer, will ya?”
Just think about it. At this time of year there’s always a few tempting trays of specialty donuts. What mortal being could resist a pumpkin spice, egg nog, or apple cider donut? These guys obviously couldn’t. And of all the people who you’d think would have sympathy and understanding for a donut dependency, it would be the cops. Go figure.
The arresting officer just moments after making the collar.
Well, I’m not condoning crime, but shouldn’t some leniency be shown to these poor guys? Don’t we try to rehabilitate people who have alcohol and drug habits? Why is a fried cake fetish any different? I’m talking about something like a “scared straight” program where they would have to do community service at a fat farm. Or maybe just making them watch 50 straight episodes of “The Biggest Loser.” Certainly in this time of advanced technology, there must be an electronic bracelet that gives you a shock every time you hoist a cream-filled to your mouth.
The patented “Donut Tattle Tale”
Well, I guess the good news for the Boston area is that, for now, these donut thieves are off the street. Thankfully, that means the only peril now in going to one of the area Dunkin’ Donut shops is waiting in line behind the lady who can’t decide how she wants her two dozen donuts mixed.
So, if you will indulge me, I’d like to close this blog with our DA prayer: “Lord, grant me the serenity to appreciate a healthy bowl of cereal, the courage turn down a double chocolate with sprinkles and the wisdom to know the difference.
** All pictures via Google Images**
The Cvillean 
Hilarious, Al! George and I fantasize about moving to Boston where there is a Dunkin’ Donuts on every corner. He always gets a chocolate frosted and I’m a jelly doughnut girl. Oooh, just writing this makes my mouth water!
Chocolate frosted! I just knew George and I had a lot in common.
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Ahhh! the wisdom to know the difference. There is always a catch. Funny you should write this today, I just sent David to Dunkin for “something good.” Honest , they are trying to fry their donuts in better oil. They are sensitive to Michelle Obama’s pleas. Dianne
Just so you know, meetings are Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m.
I would rather come face-to-face with the criminals than be behind in line of the indecisive woman. She is far more a threat to society.
Yes, I agree. There’s no more dangerous situation than standing between a man and his munchkins.
At AA, they serve donuts. What do they serve at DA? Booze? 😉
Touche, Lorna.
I like what your granddaughter said…ha…gotcha grandpa!
You got it, Cindy. She is my conscience for sure! She doesn’t let me get away with eating junk food unless I cut her in on it.
Dammit. I wasn’t even thinking about doughnuts till I read this post but now my mind is full of them and my stomach is empty. Thats a dangerous combination
Steady, Ducks, steady! Keep reciting the serenity prayer. Meanwhile, I will have a DA sponsor get in touch with you.
Love that DA prayer. It’s worth becoming a donut addict just to use it. Now, if I can just teach you to spell ‘doughnut’ properly… 🙂
I debated for quite a while on whether or not to use correct spelling since I knew the Manchester spelling police would be monitoring. I decided just to be lazy and use the vernacular.
I just saw you spelled it correctly on Dianne’s blog. Talk about favouritism. Or should that be ‘favoritism’?
BTW, when are you visiting the UK?
Having been so severely chastised previously, I was loathe to repeat my offense (or should that be offence?)
We’ve talked about visiting in 2012 but after the Olympics. If that doesn’t work out then definitely in 2013. I’ll certainly keep you posted .
Still waiting!! We have Dunkin Donuts over here, but we also have proper doughnuts. Once you taste the real thing you will never go back!!
Hi Big Al,
I’ve seen your comments on my sister’s blog and thought I’d see the parallels re food today.
Nice touch. Even prefer your little ditty at the end (no offense, Peg o skinny one)
I like your musings. Good luck with the donut thang.
Hey Tar-Buns! Thanks for stopping in. Any sister of Pegoleg is a sis..er….uh….is a friend of mine! I always enjoy your sisterly comments on Ramblings.
Based on our humor, I’ve often wondered if Peg and I were separated at birth. Can that happen when you’re years apart? If so, then maybe you are my sister after all!
This is very, very scary that we both ended today’s blog posts with serenity prayers involving food. You must have been a Fatty McFatty in a past life.
Hey, that’s me all anonymous up there. Wonder why that happened?
OK, anonymous, if that’s your real name….yes, I couldn’t believe it when I read your blog. Cue the “Twilight Zone” theme.
I would think the cops would have some sympathy. Personally I don’t eat donuts, I find most are too sweet for my liking. 😉
But glad these hardcore criminals are off the street. 🙂
Would you consider a guest speaker appearance at one of our meetings?