Spam what am…….

Time to again reward my spam comment contingent with a heartfelt reply. Here goes:

1. From “Ward” at

“Greate pieces. Keep posting such kind info on your blog.
Im really impressed by it.
Hello there, You’ve performed an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and in my view recommend to my friends. I am confident they’ll be benefited from this web site.”

My response:

Thanks Ward. It’se soe nice thate youe like mye greate pieces. I, too, am much more fond of kind info than that old meany stuff. I don’t know who Im is, but glad he/she is impressed. Hello to you too, but haven’t we already been talking? I guess it’s never too late for a salutation. You should certainly recommend my incredible job to your friends. After all, isn’t your view the most important one? And even though I know they will be benefited from my website, they would be benefited far more if they stopped smoking those cheap cigarettes from your website. You digg?

2. From “Love This” at

“Absorbing info and superbly written. Keep up the excellent stuff!” 

My response:

Dear Love, could you send me some of the vitamins you advertise on your website? (they’re not really yuky are they)? That way I could be absorbing your excellent stuff while you are absorbing my excellent stuff.

3. From Renda Geck (I don’t make these names up) at

“The information on this internet site is based on evidence from research on cease smoking programs, quit smoking aids and counseling, which are aimed at helping men and women to quit smoking for fantastic. For those who want to halt smoking better start now. Think of the family. Secondhand smoke can kill them. Be aware of how life can give you.”

My response:

Dear Renda, I appreciate your concern but I quit smoking 38 years ago, probably before you were born. Also, as a card-carrying member of the dangling modifier police, I have to ask. Do you mean people who are trying to halt already, but want to halt better, or do you mean people who haven’t halted but had better start halting now? Where are all those commas when we really need them, eh? And, just so you know, I am blissfully aware of how life can give me.

4. From Edna Ramirez at

“I give rise to look on behalf of such a article on behalf of a sustained era, credit a percentage.”

My response:

Huh? No really, huh?

5. From Susan Goodell, Psychotherapist at

“It’s the first time when i’ve seen your site. I can see lots of hard work has gone in to it. It’s actually good.”

My response:

“It’s actually good?”  You were expecting maybe chopped liver? Another question, why does anyone in San Diego need psychotherapy? It’s got the best weather in the world.

6. From BMW at

“You have lots of useful pointers on this site. This is a well written article that I have bookmarked for future reading. Have a fun.”

My response:

Well, maybe if you’d just give me one of your BMWs, I would have a fun.

7. From Burt Celmer at

“We have been trying to do some fingerprint charms with PMC3. We have the fingerprints established within a RTV silicone mold and that i need to reverse them so I’m able to press them into the PMC3. My sister mailed me the prints or I’d personally just press their fingers in straight away! What is the most effective way to receive a fantastic cast with the mold to keep the details from the print?”

My response:

Burt, I’m sorry to say I don’t know anything about getting fingerprints into clay molds. But even further, it’s very important that my fingerprints don’t get out on the internet. I won’t bore you with the details, just that it has something to do with the “3 strikes and you’re out” law.

29 thoughts on “Spam what am…….

  1. Yes, tell everyone you know to look on the web for e-cigarettes
    to check how large this industry is, and how gigantic
    the range is for these fantastic products is. What really annoys me, though,
    are the increasing number of articles in the media saying
    how bad they are. Apparently Big Pharma – the producers of
    end-smoking aids are putting their money behind an anti vaping battle – not so
    much the tobacco companies (as you might suspect) – as they tobacco manufacturers are investing
    in them. I can FEEL the health gains of electronic cigarettes.
    Just stating – that there is always some reason with these faceless entities
    trying to ban electronic cigarettes … the EU and FDA should do a
    lot more to promote their use. This makes me despondent.
    Thanks Spam what am. | thecvillean.

      • Lol, I don’t think it would, but I’d have to delete their comments afterwards so the whole exercise would be a bit pointless! I love what you have done, I bet all of us could add reams to it 🙂

  2. LOL I still can’t figure out the purpose of spam. It’s not like I’d ever click on one of their links. I don’t want to copy you by commenting on the spam in my folder but I would like to share this one with you. It’s fairly well written and I almost considered publishing it.

    “The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.”

    Pretty good, no?

  3. I’ve just written a massive reply and pressed the Post Comment button when it came up with some weird site telling me what typefaces you used on your BLog. All very informative but not my concern really. Anyway, I love this sort of stuff. Possibly the death of my last comment was the direct result of my always deleting spam without reading it. They can be a bit huffy I know. Talk about spam types. On my last post I now have 18 “Likes” and 5 comments. One of the “Likes” is from the Newfoundland Tourist Board who I suspect were partiularly moved by my short word poem !

    • You have my permission to send your spam comments directly to me. I will see that they are severely treated and properly dispatched. I’ve always lived by the credo “whoever spams my friends, spams me!”

  4. I rarely get any of these great spam comments any more. They’re all robo-spam about designer shoes and purses. When spammers don’t take pride in their work, it means…it means…well, it means something, that’s for sure.

  5. The bloggers who write you are hilarious, but your responses are even more so….it’s good to laugh first thing in the morning. I’m thanking you…see, so now your job isn’t thankless. Hope this comes through.

  6. surely by replying to them you only encourage them to continue…but I loved your replies. I just delete them in one foul swoop…wooosh they have all gone. Most of them come under the heading Lista emails…they really are why do they do it?

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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