This just in: Sharks return to Capistrano!

Although this may be hard to swallow, in an astounding turn of events it appears that sharks, not birds, are now migrating to San Juan Capistrano. For centuries, the mission at San Juan Capistrano was famous for the thousands of swallows migrating from Argentina to nest among the bells and cupola of the mission. However, since 2009, it appears that they have forsaken this tradition for the taller buildings further north that have cropped up due to urban sprawl.

However, on the twelfth tee of a San Juan Capistrano golf course, a Leopard shark, only two feet in length was found wriggling and flopping around by a groundskeeper. In an obvious cover-up to save the city embarrassment, the golf course superintendent claimed it had two puncture wounds which indicated that it might have been snatched from its more natural watery environment by a winged predator and then dropped inadvertently on the course. In golfing parlance, I guess you could even say that the shark had birdied the hole. However, the conspiracy theorists would venture instead, that it is a sign that the many jokes about “land sharks” are anything but. This certainly puts some teeth in that argument.

“I’ll meet you at the 19th hole, Whitey.”

While this is not conclusive proof that sharks will be taking up the migration gauntlet abandoned so unceremoniously by the swallows, only time will tell for sure. However, if I were a betting man, I’d wager a fin on it.

For those of you that desire happy endings to animal stories, the shark was put in a fresh water tank and taken immediately back to the ocean where he was heard faintly chirping as he swam happily away.

26 thoughts on “This just in: Sharks return to Capistrano!

  1. Did you know there are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool? (I saw this on a T-shirt, and later found it attributed to L.M. Boyd.)

  2. Maybe the birds were bored. I mean imagine that commute for years and years. Birds are very smart and need stimulation. As for the sharks, they go where the bait is. Blame it on the surfers. It’s always the surfers who get in trouble. Haven’t you been watching your scary shark movies lately?

    • Once again, Lorna, your highly sensitive self shines through. Of course those birds would be tired of flying back and forth to the same place for hundreds of years. What I’d like to know is what is their secret to such long life?

      As for the shark movies, I leave you with these words….da dum, da dum, da dum…….

      • I figure the birds keep skipping time zones or something, so they keep shaving years off their lives. It’s a Quantum Physics/time travel thing. If I had Steve Hawking’s number, I’d give it to you, but I think he’s screening his calls these days.

        And I only watch the trailers for those surfer meets shark movies. I have to save my money for fixing my butt. Priorities, you know!

  3. I think this story hints at many mysteries, but possibly the sharks just wanted to try their hand at the game before the greenkeeper interupted them. I agree they were not members but I think a larger hearted gentleman would have lent them a set of clubs instead of just tossing them back in the ocean.

    • I think this one was a big fan of Greg Norman and thought, if he can do it so can I. And you’re so right, where was the compassion from the groundskeeper??

  4. I’m happy the story had a good ending. I like sharks. Sharks are one of God’s creatures and deserve respect.

    All predators have a role to play in ecological balance. Golfers are another matter.

    With few exceptions, golf greens waste water and fairways are often sources of runoff…. One exception can be found in Kohler Wisconsin.

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s