You’ve begged, you’ve pleaded and you’ve wheedled (fortunately, you cleaned it up afterward). Some of you have even cajoled (quite out of tune, I might add). But I’ve heard your plaintive cries. Here at long last is another installment of “spam replies.”
For the uninitiated, in my quest to reply to everyone, even spammers who didn’t even read the post, I periodically reply to spam comments. The spam comments are reprinted here verbatim, including punctuation (or lack of it). Here is the latest edition:
1. From Jake: “There are some intriguing points in time in this post but I don�t determine I see all of them center to heart. There is certainly some quality but I will need hold viewpoint until My spouse and i look into the idea further. Good article , thanks so we want more! Added to FeedBurner at the same time”
A: Dear Jake: How much time do you think it will take before my points become intriguing? I would really like to know from the
bottom center of my heart. If your spouse would like to know more about my qualities, I’m available to talk with her about them after dinner and a movie some time. Then she can really help you decide. As for adding me to FeedBurner, thanks, I really need one more organization to track my every move.
2. From cyfrowa telewizja naziemna: “Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?”
A: Dear CTN: Let me first apologize for the delay in answering. It took me 2 1/2 days to understand and pronounce your name. I am honored you have deposited my blog in your amusement account. Let me say in advance (as you requested) that I agree to be agreeable if you are agreeable to some degree so far. As for communicating, obviously English is out of the question. Do you read smoke signals?
3. From Isaac: “I�m going to bookmark your site and preserve checking for brand spanking new information”
A: Dear Isaac: I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed in my rather straight-forward blog. However, if you really want brand new information on spanking, I recommend a site called kinky.com. They not only know some brand new ways, but are experts on the old standbys as well.
4. From Evan: “There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.”
A: Dear Evan: Your rare expertise as a blog follower is obvious. There is a bundle to know about blogging and someday I might even try to learn some of it. I would, however, be careful about assuming I will make some nice points. That hasn’t been one in over 3 years and I wouldn’t want to see you build your hopes up.
5. From Ryan: “Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.”
A: Dear Ryan: Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually realizes how brilliant I am. Under separate cover, I am sending you my bank card and pin number. Take what you need and God bless.
6. From Riley: “Congratulations on having one of the most sophisticated blogs Ive arrive across in some time! Its just incredible how very much you can take away from anything simply because of how visually beautiful it is. Youve put with each other a fantastic weblog space �great graphics, videos, layout. This is absolutely a must-see weblog!”
A: Dear Riley: Many thanks for the compliments, but I regret to inform you that Ryan already has my bank card and pin. Perhaps he will forward them when he is done.
7. From Zac: “I�d have to check with you here. Which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!”
A: Dear Zac: What a coincidence, because checking with me is not something anyone else usually does either! However, I must confess I was mortified to hear that my blog made you think. If you had read my “Welcome” message, you would have seen that is certainly not my intent. As punishment for this egregious oversight, you will no longer be permitted to comment or think.