As some of you know, I am currently taking piano lessons. I’m almost finished with the basic piano book. I’ll soon be ready to move forward to intermediate status.
But before this, I had no idea what music was all about. I just knew I enjoyed hearing it. I had no music lessons of any kind growing up so musical words were not a part of my lexicon. In fact , for these many, many years, my ignorance of musical terms has been legendary. To give you some idea, right up until I started piano lessons, here are some words I might have heard and what, in my naiveté and total ignorance of music, I thought they meant.
Adagio – One of the greatest second baseman to ever play for the Yankees.
Allegro – Played third base for the Yankees, but ran faster than Adagio.
Baroque – What I usually am at the end of the month.
Canon – Something that makes a loud noise when soldiers shoot it off.
Cantata – Being constipated.
Castrato – Ouch! Something I don’t ever want to be.
Chord – One of those hundreds of things behind my computer desk.
Da Capo – Tony Soprano’s boss.
Falsetto – Something teenage girls put in their bras.
Forte – A big stone building where the soldiers who shoot the canons live.
Movement – Something I hope to have every day, instead of cantata.
Pitch – What the pitcher does before the ball is hit to Adagio or Allegro.
Refrain – Being told you can’t do something you want to do.
Reprise – Surprising someone again.
Soprano – A member of a family that lives in New Jersey. Originally from Italy.
Staccato – A cousin of the Sopranos who lives in New York City.
Tenor – Something you get if you work a long time at a place.
Timbre – A very plentiful and renewable resource.
Treble – Something I am often in with my wife.
Trill – The feeling a pitcher gets when he makes a good trow.
Tutti – The first of two flavors in Tutti-Frutti.
Vibrato – A curious device often purchased by women.
Well, as you can see, I was pretty much off base (or is that off bass?) on these. But now I am well versed in their musical definitions and I am, of course, the wiser for it. I need to finish this blog so I can go practice. I’m working on “O Sole Mio!” now. Just in case I ever run into one of the Sopranos.
The Cvillean 
I wanted to write about how funny your definitions are or how amazing you are to be taking up piano lessons but I’m too busy coveting your keyboard.
Did this post get you in more ‘treble’ with your wife?
She actually laughed when she read it. There may be hope yet!
I’m alto? What’s that make me?
Twins maybe? I never knew we had the same name. I thought it was Barb.
I feel a wiser and more musically educated man after reading this post. I think its brilliant that you are learning the piano. Hours of pleasure ahead for you I hope !
Thank you. Peter. I’ve always felt it was my job to elucidate and educate others as regards the vicissitudes of the musical world. If I’ve broken through to you, my work here is done.
One of your best posts. Although my Mom was pitch perfect when it came to music, I was and am not. Piano playing can be fun I am told. I tried it and managed to learn “Oh Come all Ye Faithful,” or Adeste Fidelis which spell check turned into “addicted fiddles” three times before I overcame it.
Yes, I am really enjoying it. I learned a few Christmas songs to play for the family last year. I’ll have to see if I can find the sheet music for addicted fiddles.
Baroque is my favourite 😀 😀 😀
I look forward to seeing you play air piano when we meet up.
You’ve got it! I’ve never missed a note yet on air piano.
Love this ❤ I have forwarded it onto my Mum who plays piano, as I know she will laugh along with all of us. Happy playing, I love you my Bro ❤
What a shame your mum has to know how crazy I am now. She might not let you come now.
I have my tickets already ❤
That is some recital Al. If music be the food of love, play on, you have the Tutti and I’ll have the Frutti!
Sounds good to me. Now that I think about it, maybe I need to learn to play Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” on the piano!
What? That’s not what those words mean? I’m glad you’ve taken up music, now we’ll all be a lot smarter.
You’re kind. In truth, I think I’ve set music back many years!
Lol. Great post. Music is such great training for the brain. Well done!
And there are few brains around that need as much training as mine!
I didn’t know you were taking piano – good for you for trying new things. I don’t think this old dog (me, not you) is capable of learning any new tricks.
And I like your definitions much more than the usual ones. “Cantata” – tee hee! Maybe some prunes would help with that.
Thanks, Peg. Just trying to do my part to bring musical jargon back into the mainstream!
Al, You are too hysterical!!! I laughed so much reading this…. thank you for being the “crazy” guy you are.
Thanks, Carolyn. It nice being good at something….in my case, crazy.
You’re a whiz! At least you don’t have to worry about playing something in the key of H. Ok here are some more……treble clef, bass clef, minor key, major key, eighth note, quarter note, half note, full note, sharps, flats, rest, octaves, fingering. You are brave to start this all now. Hope you invite me to your recital.
Wow, with all those word suggestions, I think I see another whole blog coming!
Oh, Al, I truly do miss you! Is your teacher inside your headset? I’m kind of sorry that you’ve learned the music-related meanings. Yours are far more entertaining. I always wanted to learn to play guitar. Wonder if an instructor is inside my headset. It’s in the closet. That’s fodder for another day, perhaps. 1 and 2 and 3 and…
Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE Samsung smartphone
Hi Vickie! I think of all you folks often as well. What great fun we had together those years. I probably wouldn’t recognize the staff roster anymore.
Yes, the instructor is in the headphones. I let her out for 45 minutes every Tuesday afternoon. Next time I will ask her if the guitar instructor can come out and play too.