>

Any good blog will have a section of FAQ to answer the most common questions and save the reader some time. In keeping with that, I list below some of those most germane to this blog.

1. Why did you decide to start this blog?

A. Because my mother didn’t love me. Oh sure, she said she did, but I could see right through that. She always treated the other kids better. Remember the time she was supposed to take me to the park and……. oh sorry, next question.

2. How do you pick a subject for a blog?

A. Fortunately, there are a lot of idiots in the world doing idiotic things.

3. Why do you think readers will follow your blog?

A. See answer # 2.

4. I’ve noticed the blog has a definite conservative slant. Does this mean you are a Republican?

A. Just because a person has an elephant for a pet does not mean you should make assumptions about him/her.

5. What are you hoping to accomplish with this blog?

A. I want to inspire young writers everywhere by showing them that you don’t need even a modicum of intelligence to publish a blog.

6. I’ve noticed you are very hard on President Obama in most of your political posts.You’ve even gone so far as to call him a Socialist. Do you think you are being fair?

A. Thank you for pointing that out. In the future I will try to keep a more open mind when writing about Comrade Obama.

7. Keeping up with this blog must take quite a lot of your time. How do you manage it?

A. You are right. But imparting knowledge to the world is important. Therefore, I have cut my afternoon nap time down to 2 1/2  hours.

8. I detect a little bit of anxiety in your writing. It’s almost as if you are writing so aggressively to cover up some insecurities. Is this true?

A. Why are you asking that? Did someone tell you to say that? Who are you anyway and who are you working for? Don’t ever post on this blog again!

9. It’s pretty obvious from your posts that you have not, shall we say, “jumped on the wagon” about so-called man-made global warming. Do you think this record cold winter in Europe validates your position?

A. Yes I do. However, to be fair to Mr. Gore I’m sure he has the best intentions in trying to bring attention to this. I’m sorry if I have gotten carried away in my criticism of him. Oh, by the way, did you know his mother was a “lady of the evening?” And he has the breath of a thousand camels.

10. You must have had hundreds of questions over the time you have published this blog. How did you decide to pick these for the FAQ section?

A. Are you serious? I made these all up. You must be one of those people in answer #2.