I realized something the other day. I’m in fantastic shape. Well, part of me is anyway. My right index finger is a shining example of what a little self-discipline and strong work ethic can accomplish. I’ve developed this muscle-bound metacarpal into one that would have made Charles Atlas proud.
You see, I have a very specialized exercise machine. Technically, it’s an X-Y position indicator for a display system. You more sedentary types might know this as a “mouse.” Every day, with great exertion, I diligently perform repetitive exercises on this device.
I’ve even given my various workouts special names. For example there’s the “Facebook Phalanx” exercise. Chatting with and exchanging clever witticisms with other people is a surefire way to finger fitness. In fact, it’s such an important part of my overall finger health program, that I’ve befriended scores of people I don’t even know, just in case my own wimpy friends want to sleep or eat or travel; you know, have lives. Imagine!
Then, of course, there is the “blogger bulk up”. This one is especially good for the phalanges. Not only is the mouse in play but there is much keyboard activity as well. Bone wellness depends greatly on constant usage as any blogger worth his/her salt should know. The beauty of this particular exercise is that one can blog about any inane subject one wants. In fact, you’re reading one of those now.
Yes folks, before I showed such inner strength and began this arduous shape up program , my right index finger was continually getting figurative sand kicked in its face by the thumb and middle finger. No more. Now they’re the ones getting laughed at by my left hand.
I know many of you will now want to try this program for yourselves. A warning, they’ll be times when you just won’t want to look at that computer and think about all the hard work that lies ahead. Just keep repeating this mantra over and over: fear the digit!
“The envy of Gold’s Gym”
Good luck, and look for my “friend request” soon.
Don’t you type with 2 fingers?
Hey you’re talking to a sixty minute…er…uh…I mean 60 word per minute man.
You work-out fanatics forget the inevitable; someday you’ll give up this rigorous regime, and all that muscle will turn to fat. You’ll be lugging around your 2-pound finger/sausage in a little cart.
Take time to relax, enjoy your other fingers. Have some balance in your life, man!
Darn Pegoleg, you’re right! I’m going to learn to mouse left-handed. T hann ks frr thee edvise.
How do your other fingers feel, especially since they have to live in such close proximity to that bulked up digit of yours? Or is digit-envy not an issue with which you have to deal (which would be handy)?
Funny post and alluring hand-shots!
As I mentioned to Tammy below, I think the other fingers have gotten the message and are starting to, shall we say, “get a grip”. See, your pun was not lost on me. Good one.
A creative mind is a sad thing to waste. I’m glad to see yours is being put to good use. Now go get some exercise!
Thanks Tammy. Since I posted this I’ve noticed my middle finger doing a lot of extra “right clicking.” I think it got the message.
Ewww, a naked finger. Put some sweats on, man.
How about just a bow tie like the Chippendales?.
I’m glad I could be there for you. And thanks for contributing to my workout program (this reply.)
I am very impressed and inspired to get in shape now too!