I realized something the other day. I’m in fantastic shape. Well, part of me is anyway. My right index finger is a shining example of what a little self-discipline and strong work ethic can accomplish. I’ve developed this muscle-bound metacarpal into one that would have made Charles Atlas proud.

You see, I have a very specialized exercise machine. Technically, it’s an X-Y position indicator for a display system. You more sedentary types might know this as a “mouse.” Every day, with great exertion, I diligently perform repetitive exercises on this device.

The gym.

I’ve even given my various workouts special names. For example there’s the “Facebook Phalanx” exercise. Chatting with and exchanging clever witticisms with other people is a surefire way to finger fitness. In fact, it’s such an important part of my overall finger health program, that I’ve befriended scores of people I don’t even know, just in case my own wimpy friends want to sleep or eat or travel; you know, have lives. Imagine!

Then, of course, there is the “blogger bulk up”. This one is especially good for the phalanges. Not only is the mouse in play but there is much keyboard activity as well. Bone wellness depends greatly on constant usage as any blogger worth his/her salt should know. The beauty of this particular exercise is that one can blog about any inane subject one wants. In fact, you’re reading one of those now.

Yes folks, before I showed such inner strength and began this arduous shape up program , my right index finger was continually getting figurative sand kicked in its face by the thumb and middle finger. No more. Now they’re the ones getting laughed at by my left hand.

I know many of you will now want to try this program for yourselves. A warning, they’ll be times when you just won’t want to look at that computer and think about all the hard work that lies ahead. Just keep repeating this mantra over and over: fear the digit!

“The envy of Gold’s Gym”

Good luck, and look for my “friend request” soon.