It’s important to stay the “course”……..

Syria. It’s the number one topic on everyone’s mind. To bomb or not to bomb, that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the hearts of men to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to blow the hell out of Syria for a few days. President Obama is agonizing over this decision even as this keyboard heats up. In fact, let’s listen in on a crucial cabinet meeting, shall we…….

Prez: Chuck, how do you think the vote in Congress is going to go? They must know how serious I am about this. And by the way, have you noticed my new Greg Norman shirt?”

Hagel: “Boy, it’s tough to tell Mr. President. Yeah, looks great on you, and nice shot. I thought sure that ball was going straight into the cup!”

Prez: “Thanks, Chuck, I’ve been working on not rolling my wrist too much on the down swing. And you, John? What’s your take on the Senate resolution?”

Kerry: “Well, I don’t see how anyone could fail to fall for, uh, I mean agree with the logic of my well rehearsed and awesome testimony for lighting up Damascus. By the way, you’re really mastering that new driver, Mr. President. I’ll bet that drive was 350 yards at least.”

Prez: Thanks, John. I think that round with Tiger was just what I needed.  Now back to the crisis in Syria. I can’t think of anything more important for us to be working on and every minute counts.  Damn, I just shanked that six iron. That’s usually my go to club, too. How are the military preparations coming along for the strikes on Syria? Shit, did my ball just roll into a trap?”

Hagel: “The Generals and Admirals are ready, but still wondering what we hope to accomplish, sir, and frankly, I’m a bit puzzled myself. NICE CHIP SHOT Mr. President!”

Prez: “Well, Chuck, just tell them it’s to sway the voters for 2014…er…..uh…wait…. no, tell them it’s to show North Korea that we mean business. John, which way do you think this putt is going to break?”

Kerry: “I think it will go slightly to your left, Mr. President. So, you’re going to blowup a bunch of Syrian civilians to teach Kim Il-sung a lesson, eh? Brilliant! But not as brilliant as that bunker shot you just pulled off, Mr. President.”

Prez: “Thanks, John. Tiger told me to choke down a little more on the shaft. I think that’s really helped. OK. let’s all meet in the oval office tomorrow morning to decide when to launch the missiles. Oh wait. I’ve got a 7:10 AM tee time with David Letterman tomorrow. Go ahead and launch tonight.”

Kerry & Hagel: “You’ve got it sir!  And nice round. Isn’t 115 your best score yet?”

33 thoughts on “It’s important to stay the “course”……..

  1. Have a look at this; (but don’t tell her I sent you) she is just about to start a degree in International Relations in University of Southampton & is far far more conservative than her hippy mum! Would be interesting if she thinks you are similar to her grandad!!

    You guys might have similar political standpoints… She would be very interested in a genuine American response to what she has written

  2. Your “Watergate Memoirs” will be a big seller I can see. The tape shows with alarming clarity that he might know more about golf than he does the consequences of bombing. “Fools rush in where angels use a four iron” springs to mind.

    • Your reply is hilarious, ducks. Reminds me of what Lee Trevino once said about about the difficulty of hitting a one iron. “If I got caught in a lighting/thunderstorm I’d hold my one iron toward the sky because even God can’t hit a one iron.” Ironically, he was later hit by lightning. Twice. But is still around to tell the tale.

  3. I hope they have studied the elevation, the speed, the grain, the distance, the curves and the wind, or else we will all walk the plank over the Toxic Sewer of Death and I will need my epitaph ready!

  4. I know nothing about golf, but cannot understand why taking sides when Hezbollah and Al kaida are swinging at each other is a good thing.

    PS. Played BB. Left field like my hero TW. When choosing sides, boys argued over me because I hit the ball so well. My team in high school made it to the finals. Lost to the stupid Freshman team. I wrote up the game for the school newspaper. Batting average between 3 and 3.5.

    Played ball with a Congressional team called the Population Bombers (composed of staff on the House Select Committee on Population)

    Later in life played ball with a church team. I caught a ‘would be’ home run David hit at a church retreat softball game. We were just married and on opposite sides.

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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