As you know, much is being made of the global warming crisis threatening our very existence. Talk about it is so pervasive in the media that it’s depressing us all. But as you also know, your pal Al is all about looking at the upside of any problem. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some possible upbeat headlines from the year 2100, when global warming is predicted to make the world almost uninhabitable:
1. Californians hail no longer being under threat of “falling into the ocean” as state is now under the ocean.
2. Michael Moore III documentary, “Fahrenheit 7 Million” wins top prize at Cannes.
3. Egg industry booming as expression “so hot you could fry an egg on the pavement” becomes reality.
4. Movie sequel to “Some Like It Hot” called “Who Likes It Hot?” wins Oscar.
5. Snowbirds stop driving to Florida…. country saving billions of barrels of oil.
6. Jurassic Park sequels now shot in the wild without need of expensive animatronics.
7. Toyota announces the 7th generation of hybrid car to be half sun panels and half sails.
8. Movie critics guild recants its ‘worst movie ever award’ for Kevin Costner’s 1995 epic ‘Waterworld’, calling it “a movie ahead of its time!”
9. Stress of staying “fashionable” evaporates as clothes are no longer needed.
10. Al Gore IV wins Nobel prize for championing impending Global Cooling problem.
11. Obnoxious top ten lists now legally considered federal offense. FBI looking for help on whereabouts of blogger known as “Big Al.”
Glad my Pal Al is on the scene and reporting back. Good stuff, now keep an eye out for the FBI!
Not a problem, we talk weekly now.
Tell them I said hi…
Love the one about the snow birds! 🙂 Glad I won’t be here to see what does or doesn’t happen.
I plan to be here, I’ll let you know through a seance.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Or put another way; the colder it gets, the more it’s blamed on global warming.
You very nearly outdid yourself with this one. What I want to know is whether Ben Aflack and that kid he hangs out with will have a new cause as Superbugs invade and take us back to the Dark Ages. Hunger Games XI maybe?
Hollywood types will always find a “cause.” It helps them to assuage their embarrassment of riches. And if you’re right, maybe we’ll all be working for Orkin by then.
Or one of the Pharmacos. I’m thinking of antibiotic resistant bugs. Oh wait, they made that movie…Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman…didn’t they?
Did you read that ISIS now has chemical warfare materials?
Yes. But that’s no surprise is it? Does anybody believe they will adhere to the Geneva Convention. And where is the useless UN on all this. You never hear them condemning or facing up to this threat. Only talking about global warming as our biggest security threat. What a crock!
The Superbugs will wipe out many people, particularly in the poorer countries long before Climate Change. Think Ebola and drug resistant tuberculosis. As well as those crazy Muslims who eschew western medicine..inoculations and such. (We can hope an outbreak of Measles hits ISIS I suppose.).
My Evangelical friends think we are at the End of Days. All this and Mars is cracking up. So for those who thought you could fly away somewhere, guess again!
Loved it. Of course the Cannes film festival might have to be moved to the Alps film festival, unless all attendees are provided with snorkels !
Glad you enjoyed it, Peter. Gallows humor my specialty!
I’m not a fan of fear mongering – I’ve stopped believing most of what I hear or read about global warming! However, any warming at all is good news to us in the north. So here are a few more headlines for you, gleaned from actual news reports:
– Increase of two degrees over the next 50 years will increase heat-related deaths by 2,000 in Britain, but cut cold-related deaths by 20,000.
– Benefits of global warming for Canada and Alaska – longer growing season; opening up of shipping through the Northwest Passage.
– World population drops by billions, but people are thriving in the Arctic.
You need to read your Facebook messages. I sent you one about this very issue.
Also Margie, check out the “related” post at the bottom left of this post. I don’t believe you (or anyone else for that matter) were following me at that time.
Thanks Al, I found your message.
I’ve spent the last couple of months looking at both the alarmist and skeptic side of this. I still want to write a blog post, but really have to take a break from the hysteria before I can do that. A few people have told me that my pro-skeptic stance is because I ‘just don’t get it.’ But when the alarmists make statements that democracy and the scientific method should be suspended in order to silence dissension; and ‘deniers’ are branded as people who should be tried for treason… that tells me that something might be amiss with the ‘settled science’ of AGW.
Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I live in Alberta (Oil Sands), and my husband spent most of his career punching holes in the ground for an oil company…