Today I’m departing from my usual blog format. You know, my uninspired opening statement, then the boring and inane body, followed by the inarticulate closing, which few of you even get to.
Today I’m going to tell you how “self isolating” has affected my conscious state, although judging by the many near empty bottles in my liquor cabinet, unconscious state might be a more apt description.
Back to how my thinking has changed. For example, a few days ago by wife told me that we would be changing sheets and deep cleaning all three bathrooms. Normally, I would shirk from this with my tried and true “the back is pretty sore today” excuse. Not this time, I was actually excited! Did you know you can wipe down a sink with Ajax and a sponge with one hand and at the same time clean the floor with a mop and spray bottle of 409 with the other? I didn’t.
And speaking of pajamas, I had a really productive day Monday. I was out of my pajamas by noon and didn’t put them back on until about 5:30 in the evening. But enough braggadocio…..
Another day I saw from a flavor-of-the-day medical authority on TV that staying home and doing nothing was patriotic and could save lives. I should get a medal of honor. I didn’t read, I didn’t write, I didn’t walk the dogs, I stayed in my pajamas, watched TV and took naps. I could be over-hyping this but I think I’m being considered for a spot in the Vegetable Hall of Fame. Suck on that, succotash!
Also, speaking of dog walking, I’ve noticed their attitude has changed as well. Previous to the quarantine, the cry of “who wants to go for a walk?” would elicit ferocious tail-wagging and barks of sheer joy. Nowadays, the same utterance entails a game of hide and seek. What happened to the unconditional love? So much for “more is better.”
Ten days ago I started a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. I love jigsaw puzzles and do smaller ones online everyday. I’m pretty good at it. Given a deadline I honestly believe I could have knocked this bad boy out in a day and a half. This is day 10 and I might have 500-550 pieces still to go. Since the announcement of quarantine until April 30th, I’ve slowed down even more. I’m dragging out and savoring each and every search for a particular piece. The eventual find is the highlight of my pathetic day.
I’ve adopted a pet spider. One day I saw a spider in the bathroom. It was small (maybe a juvenile) and looked black. To be sure it wasn’t a black widow I got a magnifying glass and checked more closely. It turned out to be a common house spider. The next day it was in the very same spot. Hadn’t moved a fraction of an inch. Now that’s what I call sheltering in place. Normally I would have moved it outside the house, but instead we made friends. Not knowing the sex of the little critter I played it safe and I named it Sue (Thank you, Johnny Cash). This morning it had moved from just below the tub to back behind the toilet. I think it’s afraid I might start taking it for walks too.
YouTube is going to save my sanity. I’ve almost become addicted to it. Thanks to reruns of America’s Got Talent, I can now tell you the name of every single grocery store clerk and waiter/waitress in America that can belt out Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” with great aplomb. Hell, I’ve even taken a liking to the hateful Simon Cowell, which is no small accomplishment. Unfortunately, going down the rabbit hole that is YouTube can fill your hours with thousands of mindless facts that will have no practical application or value once I am loosed back into the real world. Sadly, I will have even less to offer society than before this disaster befell us.
Oh, I almost forgot, I’m also busy planning whether to fashion my hair in a pony tail or have it braided. Never thought I’d be faced with this decision. The good news is I’ve pretty much ruled out dreadlocks.
By the way, it’s become harder than ever to remember what day it is. Thank goodness for my pill case. Every morning when I get up it also tells me what day it is. Talk about multi-tasking.
Well, that’s it folks. I just heard the clothes dryer stop . That means my jammies will feel really warm and cozy!
You are better than I am with all of this sheltering at home… I have a pill case and I still mess up! Some days I forget and some days I almost take the pills twice as I forget and then think I need to take them again. Makes me wonder what it was like before calendars for the cave man and woman…did they always wake up and just go grunt grunt another day… what should I go hunt today?
You are absolutely right, Janet. This is exactly like living as prehistoric cave people. However, my wife is pretty upset about me drawing animal figures on the walls.
loved it! These are very strange times! Stay well and be safe.
Hi Alison. Sorry I missed this comment before. Thanks for visiting!
You are so witty, my Bro. I love you both. ❤ xXx
Witty…or crazy…it’s a fine line, but thanks, sis.
I am sticking with witty. ❤
Yes, I too am doing my part to save the world. Some days I change up the new routine and start with TV watching, saving the computer projects for later in the day. One day I even took a walk around the block – after dark. I don’t have a dog to walk, but I have a husband who I drag along. He’s starting to hide from me now too when I mention the dreaded “w” word.
But, I’ve been plugging away on my book, which has been “almost done” for almost a year now. You’d think with all this free time I’d have it finished in a day or so, but nope . . . like you, I’m stretching that project out.
These are indeed some strange times we are living in. Makes for fun blog posts though right?
w/a Jansen Schmidt
I can certainly understand why the hubby is hiding…..those damn leash laws!
This made me laugh Al. I loved the pill thing to help you remember what day it was. I have a friend who sent me a meme that she was contemplating underwear like her kids wear…the ones with the days of the week on them.
The spider….hmmmm….that kind of makes me cringe. I know they are good but I like them much better outside as in. They are much to quiet and sneaky for me. They could land on you and you never knew they were after you.
So glad you are staying safe!
Good to hear from you also, Faye. Actually, I kinda like the labeling underwear idea. It would give me an actual purpose in life….ha, ha, ha.
Let me know if there’s a link to vote for you in the vegetable hall of fame. You’ve got my support!
I will research that, Susanne, and thank you. If I do make it in would you do me the honor of introducing me for my acceptance speech?
What kind of succotash do you take me for?
LOL! But I’ve already got the first line of the speech written “Friends, Romans, Corn stalks, lend me your ears.”
I would have hid too, had I been that spider for fear of being taken for a walk! 🙂 Nice to read your blog. Stay safe.
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and especially for commenting. On my way over to read yours!
Hi there Al,
Great to read a post from you, and you managed to make me smile 🙂
So much of this sounded familiar! My boyfriend and I sat down together to discuss our weekend plans, and we got extremely excited about organizing bookshelves and cleaning the window shutters!
I also found a giant spider in our bathroom! And, I also decided to leave him (he looked quite masculine) there, whereas I’d usually set him free. Hmmm, perhaps I was subconsciously hoping to make a new friend?!
…’Ah, ‘Boy named Sue’! My Uncle used to love this song. I had a little listen to it after reading your post 🙂
Sending you smiles and hoping you and your family are all safe and healthy.
Your blogging friend,
Thank you for your nice comment, Carly. If you smiled then my work was successful! We surely do need a lot of that nowadays.
We are doing fine, thank you. Really look forward to those dogs walks though. It’s the best part of the day.
Hoping you and your boyfriend and extended families stay safe over there. I think we are in for it here for a while now.
Your pal, Al
I thought today was Tuesday up until just very recently. Maybe I need a pet spider too!
No problem, Tricia, I think he/she has many brothers and sisters.
Probably thousands! 😉
Love your humour Al! I too, have indulged in a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle 🤬. Think I am good til Christmas!
Jigsaw lovers are the best, Lynn. If you haven’t, you might like to try jigzone.com. A lot of fun patterns besides the regular one.
Will definitely check it out Al! Thanks!
Sounds like my house except for the spider. We would not become “”friends “.
Haven’t seen it for a good while. Perhaps it didn’t like being “outed.”
You have Jigsaw Puzzles? Real ones? I bet you have multi-ply soft toilet paper too. I envy you…
I do Margy. Would be glad to send you a few roles. I won’t gouge you on the price, but the shipping charge is around $2000.
Thanks for the smiles..:)
Glad I could help fill in the day for you, George. I think it’s important that we stay connected with each other or we might all go off the deep end!
Enjoyable and funny. It was nice to hear about others who had nothing much to do. I stayed in bed an extra hour today because of no need to get up.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lots to do. I’m just not doing it.
Hilarious as usual! I can relate to everything except Roxy still turns inside out for a walk and she’s eleven!!!
Take care and keep the giggles coming!
Glad I could add some humor to your day, Susie.