As I was fixing my go-to breakfast the other morning, Thomas’ English Muffins, I pondered about their advertising catchphrase “with lots more nooks and crannies”. I thought, what exactly is a nook or a cranny anyway? Looking at the photo above how, can you tell which is which? Aren’t they all pretty much just pits or holes? I guess their marketing people didn’t think the phrase “lots of pits and holes ” would be as appealing to the public.
It also made me think back to when my son was growing up. He has always been pretty much a literalist. He hated gray areas and any object had to be specifically defined. Being very inquisitive as well, I would constantly be barraged with questions like “Is that a brook or a creek?” or “Is that a branch of a limb?” or “Is that a forest or woods?” or “Is that a hill or a mountain?” or “Is that a street or a road?” or “Is that a field or a meadow?” or “Is that a rock or a stone?” And on and on and on. Sadly, during those ancient times there was no Google or Siri or Wikipedia to bail me out. Nowadays, a few simple taps on his phone quickly reveal the answers.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand,
A Limerick
My mouth, I was ready to stuff in
What I thought was a good English muffin
Then I took a good look
And saw nary a nook
And declared, “there’s just not enough in!”
I then started to look for a cranny
But finding none thought it uncanny
With no crannies or nooks
It must be the cooks
Were not English, but West Pakistani.
In any case, I hope you enjoyed my story. Or was it a tale? Hmmmm….
The Cvillean 
What do you put on your muffins?
I like mine with homemade hummus, brie and tomatoes. Scrumptious.
My son, I think you already know, is autistic, so I really get the whole not liking the grey areas. We always said it has to be black or white, for him there is no gray. It’s quite a different way of thinking, I am quite often in the gray zone!!
Our son grew up with Tourette’s Syndrome, with a heavy dose of OCD thrown in. Nuance is definitely not in his vocabulary. As for me, I’ll see you in the gray zone!
I remember you telling me. My son (the autistic one) had a girlfriend with Tourette’s for a while. They were a very interesting couple! And not only because he is extremely tall and she was extremely short! 😂
I have always wondered about those muffins myself…..Doc loves them too
I think Doc and I were separated at birth, we have so much in common. I look forward to autumn when they make the pumpkin muffins, but they sell out so fast! Why don’t they make billions of them if they are so popular? Duh, marketing and merchandising 101!
Be generous–some PR person probably got a promotion for that tidbit of verbiage. Loved your poem.
Thanks, Linda. I think I’m just jealous that person wasn’t me.
Al surely is bluffin’
To claim that’s a muffin –
Unless I mistake
That must be a cake!
This argument could get exhausting,
But to be cake it has to have frosting!
Frosting is nice
But now it is twice
That your point I must slice:
Will you find it surprising
That we call it ‘icing’?
Though your opinion is strong
Still sadly it’s wrong
Don’t mean to be cocky
But icing’s from hockey.
Caught short by sport! 😦
English muffins, bring them on and your wonderful poem. ❤ Xxx
Thanks, Jane. Would you believe I am munching on one as I type this? Please forgive the jelly stain.
Always. ❤
This is your funniest poem ever!
Thanks, Margy. You know me, master of the mundane.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, “I searched every pit and hole” but I have searched in every nook and cranny. I try not to overthink it and if I pick it up and melted butter (or jelly or peanut butter) dribbles on my fingers, I don’t care where it was hiding, I consider it a success.
Absolutely, Herb. You are obviously an EM aficionado and a connoisseur of dribbly fixins. May I recommend trying honey for your further enjoyment.
I love honey, too. A slice of cheese on top of the melted butter works for me, too.
Give me a cranny any time. It is more versatile than a nook because it can have sharp edges. Or maybe not. Give me a nook any day. I love your posts.
Yes, Dor, these are the important issues that clog up my mind. And I haven’t even gotten into the debate about whether you slice an English muffin with a knife or skewer it with a fork! Why does life have to be so complicated??
The one pictured on the right is definitely the cranny!
Agreed, Lynn. When they are that big they should have a name, like the craters on the moon. I’m going to name this one “The Sea of Lynn”.
I like it!
I’m still confused. A nook is a sheltered and (not or) secluded place. Both sheltered and secluded. A cranny is a small opening or (this time or) crevice. Either a small opening or a crevice. See? That cleared it right up. Or did it? Now, I’m more confused. What any of this has to to with bread is anybody’s guess. English muffins are round flat bread discs with air pockets. Take that to the marketing department.
Thanks for making my head hurt this Monday morning. And now, I’m probably not going to sleep tonight either. And I suppose I’ll be traumatized every time I’m in the company of an English muffin. Thanks for ruining that for me, too.
Seriously, it’s funny how our brains work isn’t it? I sometimes wonder about weird stuff like this as well. It does make for good blog fodder.
Patricia
I feel bad that I may have ruined your zest for a true comfort food like English muffins. I will search every nook and cranny of my mind for a way to make this up to you .