>Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the….bed!


Due in no small part to my timely and erudite post about bed bugs (“Good morning…” August 22nd), the war on those creatures is being won. It appears the “surge” created by my post has had the intended effect.

Now we are faced with an even more insidious pest – the stink bug. All over the mid-Atlantic states you can hear the hue and cry. Wanting to find a warm cozy retreat for the upcoming winter, the stinkers are clustering around doorways and window sills waiting for the hapless owner who opens them to enjoy a little autumn respite. You may think you can stop their entry with a brush or a broom but their sheer numbers will prevail. We found one nestled happily in our blanket as we were changing our sheets yesterday.

It also appears that this variety, native to Asia, has no natural enemies here in the states. C’mon birds and frogs, get with the program! Maybe it’s because when you kill them they let off a pungent smell, hence the moniker. They’re not after you, they’re after your fruit. They just bore a hole in it and suck away. While they pose no health threat and do not bite, the thought of my body becoming an egg laying nest during sweet morpheus is more than a little unsettling.

For those of you who remember the documentary film and science fiction novel The Hellstrom Chronicle, you’ll recall that it predicts that insects will eventually inherit the planet. This is that theory incarnate. And when that big asteroid comes along and produces the earth’s next extinction event, I know one species that won’t be raising a stink about it.                                                     

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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