They didn’t ask me. Did they ask you?

Is it me? Am I so insecure that I think I am the only one who never gets included in polls?  Last I checked, I didn’t have halitosis or ring around the collar. So why are they avoiding me? I mean, I’m your average Joe citizen. Aren’t polls about averages? If you want an average opinion about an average subject who better to ask than Big Al?

How many times have you seen a TV reporter say “let’s go ask the man on the street.” Hey, I’m on the street all the time! You would think I was wearing the cloak of invisibility. I was out on the street this morning but were there any TV reporters? No, they were all happily ensconced in their little TV studios talking about how the average American is coping with this economy. Well, I’m having a rough time of it since you didn’t ask.

But the latest poll is the proverbial “straw.” Consumer Reports just did a poll asking the “flying public” what complaints they have about airlines. I consume. I fly. I don’t have an unlisted number. Did anyone consider that I might have an opinion? I’ve logged a ton of hours on the old TWA tri-tailed Constellations pictured here. Wouldn’t that be a good starting point for comparison with today’s airline services and amenities? Well, on the outside chance that one of those pollsters might trip over this blog, here’s the scoop.

Back then, flights were on time far more often, seats were comfy and roomy, good meals and movies were free, luggage went at no extra charge, blankets and pillows were gleefully provided on request, flight attendants were extremely cordial and didn’t have to know martial arts and, this will really get you, we dressed up for flights. Oh, and we didn’t sit on the tarmac for hours on end before taxiing to the gate.

Today, we’re happy to get there that same day, the seating is akin to sitting on concrete laced up in a straight jacket, it costs extra for a mediocre meal and a profanity-laced movie, $25 per bag if you want to bring your jockey shorts along, and you’ll be referred to Bed, Bath and Beyond if you ask for a pillow or blanket. The flight attendants are snarly and ready to cuff you at the slightest provocation and as for dress, well, flip flops, cutoffs and tank tops are considered formal wear. Oh, and it literally takes an act of Congress to get off the plane in a reasonable amount of time.

Anyway, since it is obvious that pollsters and TV news people are too busy interviewing Americans above or below average, you who follow my blog are in luck. Here is my easy solution to today’s harrowing airline travel.

Scroll down.

2 thoughts on “They didn’t ask me. Did they ask you?

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s