That’s right, out of 7 billion people on the planet, it turns out I am at least the 375,759th most clever person alive. How do I know this? Because that’s how many people posted a blog yesterday on WordPress.com.
I know what you’re thinking. You’ve already done the math and now realize that I am eminently more witty than 6,999,624,241 other people around the globe. Add the fact that the birth/death rate favors constant population increase and it might even be more than 7 billion people by the time you read this.
Impressive, right? But here’s where my modesty gets tested even more. Assuming that some of my fellow bloggers had an “off” day, I might even be cleverer than another 100,000 or so. I can’t read all 375,759 blogs so I’m counting on you for that input. While most folks would think anyone should be satisfied just being more cunning than billions of other people, they’re wrong.
Putting statistics aside, there is a much more important goal in my budding life of composition. I’m aiming to get “Freshly Pressed.” No, not run over by a steam roller; freshly pressed in a literary sense. In WordPress.com parlance, that means being featured on their home page which will be viewed by thousands upon thousands of visitors. This is a blogger’s quasi Pulitzer. It’s like Shakespeare walking up to you and saying “be naught of ill repair for thou dost pen most admirably.”
There is rich reward in moving up from old and wrinkled author to “freshly pressed.” It means thousands of new readers and hundreds of comments on your blog. Better yet, those comments are sure to be complimentary in nature as what blogger in his right mind would dare speak out against a post that was considered “fresh press worthy.”
I’ve been blogging for nearly a year now but only for the last few months on WordPress. There’s no reason to expect I will be recognized anytime soon. There are strict rules to qualify for this honor and rightfully so. No profanity, no plagiarism, cite any sources you are quoting or pictures you are posting and no vendettas. A good number of my blogs fail in one or more of those areas. Additionally, it takes not only interesting content, but an ingenious and eye-catching title. A perfect example of this would be: “I’m one of the 375,759 most clever people in the world!”
As I mature blog-wise, I find myself doing more story-telling and less opinion-based writing. Surely my life has not been and is not now so dull as to be totally uninspiring. If only I can aptly capture those many exalted moments on the written page! Certainly the WordPress editors would not want to be looked upon as having no compassion toward an aging, struggling blogger.
Well, there you have it. My reason for being. To go from freshly depressed to freshly pressed. Stay tuned as I continue to calibrate my posts to surmount the heights, and try to imagine my look as I log in to find out I have finally made it!
Why does being a blogger make us the most intelligent people on the planet? Most of my fellow physics students don’t blog, nor do my lecturers…
Wait a minute, are you saying I’m not one of the most intelligent people on earth? Do you have proof of this?
I think your granddaughter has conclusive evidence
I can’t believe you haven’t been FPed yet. Like me. We are undiscovered talent, that’s all.
I thought this post was funny, especially the photo at the end.
Do you think maybe they’re saving the best for last? Must be.
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