Spam update……

In keeping with my policy of always answering every spam comment, I submit the following.  By the way, I seem to be getting less spam lately. You don’t think it’s because of my sarcastic replies do you? Naaaaahhhh….

1. From: Waldo Biddick

” I simply want to tell you that I am beginner to blogs and truly liked you’re web blog. Probably I’m want to bookmark your website . You amazingly come with really good articles. Kudos for sharing with us your web page.”

My reply:

Dear Waldo, First let me say how glad I am that someone finally found you. I’m guessing that the fact that you have “opium” in your web address explains why you were hiding in the first place. I simply want to tell you that you definitely are a beginner. I am sorry to report that I am not actually a web blog but a real live person…..oh, you meant your web blog. Sorry. You sound painfully undecided about bookmarking my site as you state: “Probably I’m want to“. Here’s a thought; Pleeezze don’t bookmark it! And to clear up your misconception, I do not come free with my articles, amazingly or otherwise. If you want to hire me for writing blogs, my rate is $100/hr plus expenses. Warning: I drink a lot of wine while writing, so expenses are a large portion of the cost. Lastly, I appreciate that you appreciate my sharing my blog but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be a blogger would I? Hmmmmm……?

2. From:

“I’m now not certain the place you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend a while learning more or working out more. Thank you for fantastic info I used to be searching for this information for my mission.”

My reply:

Dear Staires, I’m sorry you’re no longer certain of where I get my information, but if it makes you feel any better, that makes two of us. As for the choices in your second point, while I expect all my readers to be “buff”, I suggest you choose the former. It’s obvious you needs to be learning more. Lastly, your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to never visit my blog again. This reply will self-destruct in 10 seconds, 9, 8, 7……

19 thoughts on “Spam update……

  1. I don’t know what it says about me that I bemoan the dearth of quality spam lately. I’m barely getting even the shining examples you provide. They’re all just lists of websites that have something to do with Christian Leboutin shoes and other knock-off designer stuff. What happened to the day when non-English speaking spammers took PRIDE in their work?

    • Right you are, Peg. Any spammer worth his/her salt would not just provide a web address. The real pros would flatter you in their pidgin english by telling you something like: “My words marvel for you at your blogging goodness. From writing that are great things to all the photos while still putting them there. My dreams to be like a person which blogs so famously as you.”

      (P.S. If you’d like, I’d be happy to spam you occasionally.)

  2. Al, I’ve contemplated some of mine, quite truthfully I can’t tell if some of them are spam or not…..:-) but the one asking me the size of my penis, I’m pretty sure that’s spam.

    Maybe I should just forward all my spam to you, your spam blocker seems to be working way better than mine!

  3. Al, I’d say you’re tough, but fair, on your spammers. 🙂

    I laughed out loud at your reply to the second one–neither of you know where you get your information from…Ha! Good one! I love you, Al–and that’s no spam-talk, either! 🙂

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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