I’m not dead sure or absolutely positive about most things in this world. But after 72 years of life, I have at least learned that there are several immutable truths for my age group. This is just a few of them:
- Pushing is easier than pulling
- When walking, downhills do not cancel out uphills.
- You no longer have to ask for a senior discount. They just know.
- There is very little difference between cruise lines, except perhaps, the strain of norovirus inhabiting the ship.
- Doctors are more than happy to replace every single joint in your body. All you have to do is ask.
- Every person you know has arthritis. If you don’t believe it, just mention yours.
- Thanks to flatulence, you never go through a day without a smile.
- Assisted living commercials are experts at euphemisms. They take purgatory and make it sound like Nirvana.
- There is no fountain of youth. However, some restaurants do have a fountain of wine, which is essentially the same thing.
- One is never too old to make top ten lists.
And now you know.
It’s official. As of this week, I’m a senior citizen. Thanks for sharing the wisdom.
Congratulations and welcome to the club.
I’ve hear you should let a smile be your umbrella. Perhapds flatulence can keep norovirus away?
Not sure about that, but it would sure keep the dinner partners away.
Haha – this is GREAT Al! I especially love #8.
Yes. Why don’t they just come out and say “Come live with us and die in style!(and penniless)”
Yeay! Hooray! I love free wisdom. The kind I don’t have to pay for with my own life experiences. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to remember these things when I need them.
Sorry to say, but that’s all the wisdom I’ve got, free or otherwise.
So age does sometimes bring wisdom?
I think so….sometimes I get having wisdom mixed up with being a wise ass.
The wine sounds good because, with enough of it inside you, you probably don’t remember how old you are 🙂
Not to mention it helps to write this blog!
Oh Good – I have so much to look forward to!
Speaking of norovirus, there is an upside to getting ‘something’ the day before the cruise is scheduled to end. Although they quarantine you, they make sure you are the first off the ship when you get to the home port, and give you private transportation to the airport…
Damn. And I never get it on cruises. Next time I’m bringing my own vial.
Good list. It applies to more people than just your age group…at least some of the items do.
I just posted about a bizarre conversation I just had with my mom (82). We were talking about death the way two acquaintances might be talking about, oh, I don’t know, what happens to vegetables when they go bad. No sentimentality or even any squeamishness. Just a matter-of-fact discussion of donating our bodies to science and the possible scenarios for how they might use our corpses.
I guess anything goes when everything goes, huh? 😐
That’s a pretty neat catch phrase you came up with “anything goes when everything goes.” I’d rank it right up there with “Life – live it, love it, leave it.”
See how inspirational you are? 🙂