(With apologies to Joyce Kilmer)
I think that I shall never see, an election cycle sad as thee,
Candidates with values lame, and vicious voices bringing shame.
Aspersions cast with no regret, hypocrites both with every threat,
Though enable we our favorite one, by praise that either’s scarcely won.
Oh would the season soon depart, where obfuscation is an art,
And return to valued civil talk, where people actually walk the walk.
History tells us without fail, how one of these evils will prevail,
Though I still long for days of yore, when duels would settle any score.
How easy that would be on us, if both would meet with blunderbuss,
And at ten paces seal their fate, now that’s my kind of true debate!
Al Hood 2016
The Cvillean 
I have missed your poetry, Al. Sharp as ever, my friend! 🙂
Thanks Lorna. Would prefer to be inspired by a more worthy topic.
Want me to send you a picture?
Love the visualization: the Donald and Monica Lewinski’s ex-boyfriend’s wife dueling it out…where do we get tickets?
Your rhyming captures it all. Very well done Sir!
Thanks, Mary. It should be a sell out!
What a lovely way to say such horrible truths. If this is the best we can do, we are soooooo in trouble.
All our enemies are laughing as they watch us self-destruct.
Al, score! Brilliant satire. I am in awe.
Dickens said ‘the law is a ass’; I wonder if he had this election in mind?
From this side of the pond, it’s terrifying, though I confess to liking Hillary more since reading her autobiography. The problem is she’s a seasoned political operator and it’s difficult to trust someone who knows the system so well. On the other hand, innocence won’t cut it.
As for Trump – shudder! Over here, we can’t believe he actually got the nomination. What’s that about?
Not that we haven’t had our share of dreadful leaders, of course; but never with so much at stake.
Your take on Hillary is dead on. Trump, being the loose cannon he is, does have one thing in his favor….he’s not a politician. That’s why I am in such favor of term limits here. We finally did this with the Presidency, now we have to extend that to the House of Representatives and the Senate. The government was never meant to be led by “career” politicians but rather citizens who serve and then move back into the civilian workplace. Thanks for the comment, after reading about your busy week, I’m honored that you took time out to read my post. You are a good friend.
We are echoing political disarray over the water, but my heart goes out to you all with your ‘no choice’ scenario. Has the world gone mad? You have managed with your customary graceful style to nail it in your poetry call to arms. I love you my Bro. ❤ Xx
Thanks, Jane. It’s my way of coping! Love ya back, sis.
Excellent poem. I don’t know how you haven’t all gone mad. Our last election had an 8 week campaign – the longest we’ve ever had – and we were all over it after four weeks. I like your duel idea but we have very tight gun restrictions here so it might have to be fly swatters at 20 paces.
Good idea, but do they make fly swatters that big?
Have you seen the flies in Australia?
Touche!
Excellent poem! I especially like the part about shame. How often has the ‘shame card’ been used by Clinton’s supporters. Hillary is portrayed as a strong woman with awesome, vital power and shame on anyone who doesn’t vote for her – misogynists, one and all.
How unfortunate that either one of them could end up President…
Giving credit where it’s due, the dems figured out how to pick candidates. If you don’t like Obama, you’re a racist. If you don’t like Hillary, your a misogynist. I fully expect they’ll put up a gay candidate next time so they can cry prejudice! It doesn’t seem to occur to them that these candidates can be extremely flawed. Oh well, politics….you gotta love it!
I will be so happy when the election is over. The suspense is killing me and I’m not even American.
Dear Anonymous (if that’s your real name) My advice to you is to stay non-American as long as you can! Wherever you are, it’s got to be better than this fiasco.
Nailed it, Albert
XXXX,
Marcia and Rob
Thanks, Marcia. You know I always have my hammer at the ready!
Great poem, and reflects my feelings on this whole debacle. A dual is a good idea, except Hilary is anti gun and Trump is too stupid to know how to use one.
Perhaps they could use water pistols. Surely they would both melt away like the wicked witch of the north.
Ha ha. Hillary is probably a better shot! At least she would have the good sense to practice. Donald would just pull the trigger or tweet some obscenity.
LOL. Actually, I would favor The Donald in this. He is more practiced at shooting from the hip. Hillary would be too busy forming a committee to study the wind conditions, trajectory, humidity, etc. that appeal to her base.
Great one-liner. He is shoot from the lip kinda guy. Yes, Hillary would study the situation, take the lay of the land and all that. But that’s why I love her.
As for her base, name me a politician who doen’t pay attention to her base and I’ll show you a certain loser. Probably why we have so many issues today. The base is badly split.
I certainly share your sentiments. I am, as you know, not on the electoral role to vote in the US but it is one of those events which affects us all whether we live in the States or not. The world, to my gloomy eyes, seems to be in a slightly parlous state, with especial reference to Syria and the middle east. Its a bit like finding yourself forced to take a voyage across the Atlantic in a cruise ship and finding out the selection process is offering us either a chronic drunkard or drug addict: not the best choice in the world 😦 (Never the less, a very able poem delivered with your normal engaging irony 🙂 )
OK, let me pose this question based on your scenario. The cruise ship is sinking. The only lifeboat holds just two people, it would be you and either Hillary or Trump or me. Who do you think would help give you the best chance of survival?
Hint: I would bring two cases of the finest British lager with me.
You wouldn’t need the larger Al. I would always put you first and, without trying to be rude, the other gentleman would not be invited aboard even if he had a case of the finest tax free scotch with him