This winter, although not that cold around here yet, has brought a scourge upon us. Mice in the house. I really don’t have anything against mice. Hey, they gotta make a living too, right? But my dear wife, Patty, does not share that same altruistic, selfless view of the little rodents.
For me, there are serious consequences to this. For one, I’ve been forbidden to eat at my computer anymore. How this will affect my blogging frequency is yet to be seen. My favorite snack, granola bars (I blogged about that here), were stored in my computer tower cupboard. No more. In fact, since they are so crumbly, they’ve been completely axed from the list of things that provide me sustenance. I’ve also had to attend class for explicit instruction from Patty on how to distinguish mouse droppings from dirt and crumbs or any other kinds of myriad specks of dust. I failed the initial test, but redeemed myself on the retake.
So anyway, that’s how my new year began. As I am wont to do, I decided to sum this distressing episode up in verse:
They come in herds, leaving little turds, those pesky little critters,
They scratch and claw, for food to gnaw, and give my wife the jitters.
So hard to catch, we are no match, our tricks they seems to know,
Traps with cheese, are just a tease, they never seem to show.
Though we’re undaunted, still we’re haunted, by evidence galore,
Just when we think, that they’re extinct, there’s droppings on the floor.
How can these creatures, with such small features, be so large a pest?
The only answer, to rid this cancer, is to find their little nest.
We thought of a cat, to help combat, these annoying little brutes,
But with dogs around, they’d surely hound, that poor old puss n’ boots.
So we must accede, we are in need, of professional assistance,
It’s our good fortune, that we have Orkin, to break down their resistance.
The battle won, we’ve now begun, to replace our valued stores,
And put food back, on shelf and rack, and in their proper drawers.
My wife becalmed, the mice embalmed, relieved is how I feel,
But I’ll be tense, that someday hence, I’ll hear another squeal!
The Cvillean 
I’ve taken a while to read and reply so I hope your mouse issue is sorted now. In our house in Scotland mice liked to come in, out of the wind and the rain. We got a cat in the end!!
Yes, Sarah, we won the battle of the rodents, but only after my snacking privileges were seriously curtailed. Thanks for the comment.
Oh those mice! They’re … cute when they stay outside. I battled them when I lived in Hawaii. Deep in the rainforest surrounded by lots of wild cats!! Lazy fat cats! Guess they had better things to eat 🤔
loved the poetry!
Just wondering, Susanne, maybe it’s because the mice were wearing tiny grass skirts. The cats were too busy laughing.
Yikes! No rats here, at least that I’ve ever seen!
We’ve mostly all got them whether folks realize it or not! Us old house owners probably a little worse then the modern homes which are sealed up tighter. Personally we don’t notice them much other than the occasional time a cat catches one which just happened about a week or so ago, but I know they are around. We see them in our barns quite often so perhaps they are happier out there! Loved the poem!
Thanks BRC. Our house is not nearly as old (60 years) but they’ve still had plenty of time to domicile. Mice are fine with me but rats, which we have near our attached shed are another story! The dogs keep them at bay.
Enjoyed your mouse adventure and enjoyed your poetry even more!! You certainly would have been a wonderful high school English teacher!!!
Thank you Arlene. Proof that I didn’t sleep through ALL my English classes.
LOLOL. That poem is brilliant Al.
I do not like mice but we live in an old farmhouse so I am resigned to the fact that I will fight this battle forever. I have found Rubbermaid totes to be a great way to protect my food stores from the dirty little buggers.
To be honest I think I hate spiders worse as they are quiet and can drop on you from anywhere and seem impossible to get rid of.
I feel your pain, Faye. Sounds like an ongoing battle there. I think you should contact the producer of “Wild Kingdom’ about a guest shot on the show.
I once opened the bonnet of my car and saw a mouse sitting on the water cooler thing. Being slightly eccentric I went into the house and returned with a bit of cheese which I placed before the mouse who looked on at my behaviour without alarm or comment. At the end of my shortish journey I opened the bonnet to discover both mouse and cheese were gone so I presume he must have reached his destination and left the comfort of his temporary dwelling 🙂
Great story, Peter. However, in the future, please refrain from writing comments that are far more interesting than my blog! Haven’t you read the disclaimer just before the comment section?
P.S. You know what a car bonnet is called here in the states? Yep, you guessed it, a hood.
I side with your wife. I dislike mice more than just about anything. I can’t count how many mouse entry holes we’ve plugged over the years! My husband tried many different kinds of traps, found the brand that works the best, and baits them with peanut butter.
The grand kids used to check the traps when they came to visit. They didn’t seem at all concerned when they found a dead mouse in a trap. “Hey grandpa, here’s another Mickey!” they would call out.
Join the crowd, Margy, of my wife’s supporters. Guess I’m the only mouse whisperer on WordPress. We’re on our third kind of trap, but the problem is pretty much resolved. We reorganized our food stuff to mouse proof containers….you know, like those squirrel proof bird feeders. The bonus to that is I’ll probably lose weight. It takes so long to get to the snacks, I’ll most likely eat less.
Don’t you just hate it when the mouse wins!
One year the kids didn’t find all the foil wrapped Easter eggs that had been hidden. The mice did. When we finally discovered the ‘evidence’ – all that was left was foil egg shapes with nothing inside… That was when we mouse proofed the kitchen cabinets so the little critters couldn’t get into drawers, etc. (We’ve had to learn how to think like a mouse – what does that say about mouse intelligence!)
In the big, old rambling house I call home, we had the same issue. We disagreed on ways to combat it, but it has been sorted. I hope you can return to your granola bars now? Hugs and much ❤ for you both. Xxx
Sorry to say, Jane, they are history in this house. But your hugs are dulling the pain!
Hey Cuz,
As always, you made me smile.
Cathy neglected to mention, at Primrose we’ve had our bouts with many a mouse, but now we have a feral Siamese cat who visits us daily and keeps the scourge away.
Happy New Year to you and Patty.
Marc
Thanks, Marc. Always good to get your comments. Do you think you could broker a deal with that Siamese to come east for a few weeks?
Argh, such destructive little critters! Hope Orkin did the trick for you!
Yes, Lynn. Every time that Orkin bill comes in I groan, but then things like this happen and I marvel at how brilliant I am. He, he,he.
I have dealt with roof rats in my attic on and off for 3+ years – we get them blocked out and after a few months, they figure out how to get in. I would not mind all that much except when they have a party over my bed at 1 AM. Good luck!
Thanks, Janet. Absolutely! It is amazing how much noise little mice can make during the still of the night. Are these BYOC parties? (Bring your own cheese)
Mice aren’t so bad. We have had an invasion of cockroaches here in the south. I detest cockroaches. Everyone here calls them water bugs, but that just sounds nicer. They’re cockroaches. And they’re nasty.
Love the ode to the mice.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
I remember when my family lived in Houston, we had the same problem. We’d come home at night, turn on the kitchen lights and watch them scatter. They were the monster black ones. Creepy!
Imagine putting this distressing situation into such a charming poem, Al! But my sympathies go to Patty in this case: out with those mouse-luring crumbs! And happy 2020 to both of you!
I knew you gals would stick together on this!