Of Mice and Me.

This winter, although not that cold around here yet, has brought a scourge upon us. Mice in the house. I really don’t have anything against mice. Hey, they gotta make a living too, right? But my dear wife, Patty, does not share that same altruistic, selfless view of the little rodents.

For me, there are serious consequences to this. For one, I’ve been forbidden to eat at my computer anymore. How this will affect my blogging frequency is yet to be seen. My favorite snack, granola bars (I blogged about that here), were stored in my computer tower cupboard. No more. In fact, since they are so crumbly, they’ve been completely axed from the list of things that provide me sustenance. I’ve also had to attend class for explicit instruction from Patty on how to distinguish mouse droppings from dirt and crumbs or any other kinds of myriad specks of dust. I failed the initial test, but redeemed myself on the retake.

So anyway, that’s how my new year began. As I am wont to do, I decided to sum this distressing episode up in verse:

They come in herds, leaving little turds, those pesky little critters,

They scratch and claw, for food to gnaw, and give my wife the jitters.

So hard to catch, we are no match, our tricks they seems to know,

Traps with cheese, are just a tease, they never seem to show.


Though we’re undaunted, still we’re haunted, by evidence galore,

Just when we think, that they’re extinct, there’s droppings on the floor.

How can these creatures, with such small features, be so large a pest?

The only answer, to rid this cancer, is to find their little nest.


We thought of a cat, to help combat, these annoying little brutes,

But with dogs around, they’d surely hound, that poor old puss n’ boots.

So we must accede, we are in need, of professional assistance,

It’s our good fortune, that we have Orkin, to break down their resistance.


The battle won, we’ve now begun, to replace our valued stores,

And put food back, on shelf and rack, and in their proper drawers.

My wife becalmed, the mice embalmed, relieved is how I feel,

But I’ll be tense, that someday hence, I’ll hear another squeal!