Spam what am…….

Time to again reward my spam comment contingent with a heartfelt reply. Here goes:

1. From “Ward” at

“Greate pieces. Keep posting such kind info on your blog.
Im really impressed by it.
Hello there, You’ve performed an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and in my view recommend to my friends. I am confident they’ll be benefited from this web site.”

My response:

Thanks Ward. It’se soe nice thate youe like mye greate pieces. I, too, am much more fond of kind info than that old meany stuff. I don’t know who Im is, but glad he/she is impressed. Hello to you too, but haven’t we already been talking? I guess it’s never too late for a salutation. You should certainly recommend my incredible job to your friends. After all, isn’t your view the most important one? And even though I know they will be benefited from my website, they would be benefited far more if they stopped smoking those cheap cigarettes from your website. You digg?

2. From “Love This” at

“Absorbing info and superbly written. Keep up the excellent stuff!” 

My response:

Dear Love, could you send me some of the vitamins you advertise on your website? (they’re not really yuky are they)? That way I could be absorbing your excellent stuff while you are absorbing my excellent stuff.

3. From Renda Geck (I don’t make these names up) at

“The information on this internet site is based on evidence from research on cease smoking programs, quit smoking aids and counseling, which are aimed at helping men and women to quit smoking for fantastic. For those who want to halt smoking better start now. Think of the family. Secondhand smoke can kill them. Be aware of how life can give you.”

My response:

Dear Renda, I appreciate your concern but I quit smoking 38 years ago, probably before you were born. Also, as a card-carrying member of the dangling modifier police, I have to ask. Do you mean people who are trying to halt already, but want to halt better, or do you mean people who haven’t halted but had better start halting now? Where are all those commas when we really need them, eh? And, just so you know, I am blissfully aware of how life can give me.

4. From Edna Ramirez at

“I give rise to look on behalf of such a article on behalf of a sustained era, credit a percentage.”

My response:

Huh? No really, huh?

5. From Susan Goodell, Psychotherapist at

“It’s the first time when i’ve seen your site. I can see lots of hard work has gone in to it. It’s actually good.”

My response:

“It’s actually good?”  You were expecting maybe chopped liver? Another question, why does anyone in San Diego need psychotherapy? It’s got the best weather in the world.

6. From BMW at

“You have lots of useful pointers on this site. This is a well written article that I have bookmarked for future reading. Have a fun.”

My response:

Well, maybe if you’d just give me one of your BMWs, I would have a fun.

7. From Burt Celmer at

“We have been trying to do some fingerprint charms with PMC3. We have the fingerprints established within a RTV silicone mold and that i need to reverse them so I’m able to press them into the PMC3. My sister mailed me the prints or I’d personally just press their fingers in straight away! What is the most effective way to receive a fantastic cast with the mold to keep the details from the print?”

My response:

Burt, I’m sorry to say I don’t know anything about getting fingerprints into clay molds. But even further, it’s very important that my fingerprints don’t get out on the internet. I won’t bore you with the details, just that it has something to do with the “3 strikes and you’re out” law.