I’m baaacck! Sorry to have neglected my faithful readers for so long. But I haven’t been neglecting my writing, just you.

Truth is, I’ve started writing a novel. It’s a murder mystery. I think they are called murder mysteries because it’s murder trying to write one and it’s a mystery why anyone would try.

This is my first ever venture into this exciting realm so you might say I’m a neophyte. Except a neophyte probably has a lot more going for them than me. Turns out you also have to be imaginative and clever.

And all the characters! There are so many characters in these type novels they should come with a program. At book signings they should have a barker hawking programs….“Hey, hey, here ya go, over here. Get yer programs here. Hot off the press… Ya can’t tell the players without a scorecard…step right up!” I thought maybe I could get around this by just making the victim and the butler the only two characters in the book. Patty said no.

And research is required. If I’m making this stuff up anyway, why does any of it have to be true? Seems readers want depth to their characters so they can relate to them. Just their names doesn’t seem to satisfy them. And they want to know more about the places where the scenes happen. If the victim gets murdered in Cheboygan, what does it matter what Cheboygan is like? They’re dead. They no longer care. Again, seems the readers do.

As many an author has said before, they don’t know the whodunit themselves until well into the writing. In my case, if it goes on any longer before figuring that out, I might end up killing the victim myself. Trouble is, mystery writing 101 says never make the culprit someone who hasn’t been introduced in the novel yet. Damn.

I’ve also read where more than one now well-known and successful author has said they were embarrassed by their first novel when it was published. But I’m way ahead of them, I’m already embarrassed.

To be honest, it really is quite fun to be doing this at last. The creative juices are flowing and Patty is enjoying being my proofreader and/or editor. I’ll keep you posted periodically. It’s going to be a long, long process.

In the meantime, those of you who have butlers, beware!