Ever since I started blogging I have labored to think of a way to reward my loyal readers. I mean, if I had to read the drivel that I pass off as literate prose just to keep from hurting my feelings, I’d expect some kind of recompense too. Well, it’s time for me to pony up for my peeps.

My ship has come in. I just received an email from John Ego in Nigeria. Aside from the coincidence of his having the same name as the nickname my friends call me, Mr. Ego is a very important and prominent member of the Bank of Nigeria. He has just taken the position of Director of the International Remittance Department at that prestigious institution. Lo and behold, in going over the books, he discovered an abandoned Mastercard worth a credit of 10.5 million dollars belonging to moi. Just try to imagine a bank in this country being that honest. And silly me, I didn’t even know I had lost it. And when was I in Nigeria? I must have taken the wrong flight home from Colorado that time. Or was it Washington State?

All this time I’ve been paying off my other credit cards, never realizing that this one was steadily building up a credit of over 10 mil! And here’s the kicker; Mr Ego stated that his company discovered that the former Director of this department had withheld the card from me for his own personal use, never believing his nefarious plan of evil would eventually be revealed. What a cad! And bankers wonder why we mistrust them.

Anyway, to make things all legal and proper, I have forwarded them my SSN and bank numbers, and the 10 million credit is now available for use. So here’s the deal. If you are a reader of this blog, I hereby authorize you to use this card for your Christmas purchases as a way of saying thanks for the support. The card number is 4848422706203852 and the phone security code is “Al’s my pal.”

If this unaffected display of altruism touches your heart and you feel the need to include me in your Christmas list, I’m a real fan of bunny slippers.

P.S. This is the second time I have had such good fortune.