The Devil’s spawn

In the past I have posted a couple of times of how I suffer from keyboard dyslexia. While I have no problem with reading or writing long-hand, when it comes to typing my posts, I seem to have more words highlighted by the spell checker than not.

Always quick to take the blame, I recently discovered that “KD” is, in fact, NOT the culprit. It’s within the keyboard itself. There are word gremlins living in it. No, I’m not schizophrenic, there really are fiendish creatures in between the keys. What’s more, I’ve figured out who they are and how they manage to create typing havoc.

First, there’s the “m” and “n” bandits. They are insanely jealous of each other. So often, whenever I type an “n” it comes out as an “m” and vice-versa. You would think that two letters, always nestled next to each other in the middle of the keyboard, not to mention the alphabet, would have learned to live harmoniously together by mow. But mo, they have to nake it difficult for ne.

Then there is the “teh” monster. Always lurking around the keyboard waiting for an unsuspecting typist to use one of the most-used words in the language, “the”. This creature somehow delights in making my blog life a living hell. Teh worst part about is that they are probably they are teh easiest keys to reach on teh whole keyboard.

But most insidious of all the imps inhabiting my Logitech are the elf triplets they’re, their and there. I know exactly which meaning I want to convey, but no sooner do I type it correctly than they switch places, chuckling with great merriment (this originally came out nerrinemt, but I caught those little m and n buggers this time). They’re certainly must be reasons for there doing this, but their known only to them.

Anyway, if any of you are experiencing this with your keyboard, I would love to hear from you. I understamd their are support groups that we could all attemd. Teh neetings nay help us femd off these insidious denons and lessem there affect om us. See you they’re!

EPILOGUE: In the spirit of truth-in-blogging, I must reveal that my sweet wife thinks my problem is with a grungy keyboard as a result of irresponsible eating while I am typing, plus failure to clean and maintain it. She used it the other day and swears an insect crawled out of it. But who are you going to believe, a non-blogger or your old pal, Al? On second thought, don’t answer that.