More spam…..I told you this stuff was great.

Who knew pheromones could travel over the internet?

I’ve long been plagued by being irresistible to the opposite sex. It’s a curse I’ve had since birth. But I’ve learned to deal with it. But those pheromones really outdid themselves yesterday.

Here’s the first spam, via my email spam folder:

“Hey gorgeous! (:
I really wanna be friends with u!
I’m Lilliam.
Can’t wait to talk to u!” 😉

Here was my response:

“Dear Lilliam, if that’s your real name, firstly, although I am gorgeous, that was just a lucky guess on your part. Secondly, you should be aware that I’m a happily married man who already has plenty of friends. I appreciate your interest in talking with me although I think the “wink” afterward indicates that the “intercourse” you are interested in is not of the verbal variety. Although I take it as a compliment, due to my high moral standards, I have always successfully resisted the temptation to stray. Did I also mention that my wife is past a silver medalist in target shooting at the Olympics?

On the other hand, if this was the result of some mass spam mailing, of which I am only one of millions contacted, I would ask that you not tell any of my legion of blog readers who believe everything I tell them.”

Your pal, Al

P.S. “I just now noticed the picture that you attached. On second thought, what’s the harm in a little friendly conversation?”

After all, can a girl named Lilliam be all bad?

And this one, from “Find kinds of wedding dress”, which came through my WordPress spam:

“I have read some of the articles on your own website today, and I enjoy your style of blogging. I included it in order to my favorites web log list and you will be checking rear soon. Please take a look at my site also and allow me to know what we think.”

My response:

“Dear Find kinds of wedding dress, thank you for visiting my blog. I’m glad you have it in your favorites but you are wrong about one thing. Although as a red-blooded American male, I have certainly done my share of checking rears, I am trying to cut back, so please don’t make that endeavor any tougher than it is already. I did go to your site but have decided that if the time comes that I ever marry again, “we” think “we” will stay with the traditional tuxedo. However, you might want to contact Dennis Rodman, the gentleman pictured below, who definitely could be a potential client.”

And they just keep coming, folks.