This just in: Sharks return to Capistrano!

Although this may be hard to swallow, in an astounding turn of events it appears that sharks, not birds, are now migrating to San Juan Capistrano. For centuries, the mission at San Juan Capistrano was famous for the thousands of swallows migrating from Argentina to nest among the bells and cupola of the mission. However, since 2009, it appears that they have forsaken this tradition for the taller buildings further north that have cropped up due to urban sprawl.

However, on the twelfth tee of a San Juan Capistrano golf course, a Leopard shark, only two feet in length was found wriggling and flopping around by a groundskeeper. In an obvious cover-up to save the city embarrassment, the golf course superintendent claimed it had two puncture wounds which indicated that it might have been snatched from its more natural watery environment by a winged predator and then dropped inadvertently on the course. In golfing parlance, I guess you could even say that the shark had birdied the hole. However, the conspiracy theorists would venture instead, that it is a sign that the many jokes about “land sharks” are anything but. This certainly puts some teeth in that argument.

“I’ll meet you at the 19th hole, Whitey.”

While this is not conclusive proof that sharks will be taking up the migration gauntlet abandoned so unceremoniously by the swallows, only time will tell for sure. However, if I were a betting man, I’d wager a fin on it.

For those of you that desire happy endings to animal stories, the shark was put in a fresh water tank and taken immediately back to the ocean where he was heard faintly chirping as he swam happily away.