Forsooth, just another ho-hum day at WordPress for the Bard of Avon…..

Who knew Shakespeare was still alive and well? And more amazingly, who knew he was a fellow blogger on WordPress?

How do I know this? The most recent article by The Daily Post, a blog by WP to help bloggers reach their full potential, talked about how stats can help you find your audience. While giving helpful hints about how to use your stats to adjust your blogging traits to increase readers, they post this site stat as an example:

stats

Are they trying to tell me that someone who wasn’t Shakespeare posted a blog that got nearly 15,000 views in one day? I may have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night! And well over 3 million views overall? That can only be true if you’ve been blogging for 449 years. And no fair using your famous plays and sonnets as blogs just to pump up the old stats. Yes, I’m talking to you, Bill!

OK, let’s just break this down shall we? First of all, using a conservative estimate, Shakespeare, who had 3 children with his wife, Anne Hathaway (who is also still alive and winning Oscars in Hollywood), must have several thousand descendants from those progeny. Allowing for the usual percentage of those who are deadbeat dads and in the witness protection program who don’t want their identities known, that still leaves a plethora of relatives to dutifully read his blog. So maybe his readership is not as widespread as he would like us to believe, eh?

And what about his pathetic comment to view ratio? Considering probably half of those comments are his replies, it’s just a hair over 1%. By comparison , my adjusted comment to view ratio is nearly 12%. So you see, I am far more interesting than the bearded, balding bard! (Author’s Note: this is not the first time I have manipulated figures to bring down someone else to make myself look better, but then you already knew that).

But take heart, all of you others who are also unfairly plagued with meager stats. You will notice his readership declined drastically on Feb 7th and no posts were made afterward. With any luck, he’s moved over to Blogger.com.

sp

As the over-hyped playwright himself might say, “Take heed, ’tis folly abideth in the blogger’s heart, fame’s fleeting and greatness endureth naught, for only by latest post shall his value be known.”