You all know me. You know I like to keep my readers abreast on current events. I don’t look at you as a bunch of boobs, but rather as loyal readers to whom I owe something in return. Kind of “tit for tat” you might say. I know somewhere deep in your bosom, you count on me for enlightenment. Why, some have even said reading my blog is almost a titillating experience. Sure, there are some who knock my efforts, but the world has always been full of knockers has it not?
In view of the above, I feel compelled to tell you about the following ad on Craigslist:
Of course, I will leave it to you ladies to decide if this is for you. Not to exclude the guys, but there is no mention in the ad whether or not this “Edgar Cayce of mammaries” can also channel man boobs. In any case, if you’re into knowing the future as well as needing a breast check-up, here’s your chance. And talk about the price being right! I don’t know what a mammogram costs, but I’m guessing they’re not free.
From the testimonials, it looks like a “Satisfaction Guaranteed” offer. A little short on time? Got to get back to the office right away? Not a problem for “The Great Presskin.” He offers something all other breast readers, psychic or otherwise, are very reluctant to do. A speed reading. He’s also quite flexible and will help you jiggle your schedule if need be.
So there you have it. Another reason Craigslist is the go to forum for today’s busy woman. The woman who just doesn’t have time for the future to actually get here.
Out of curiosity, I’d love to know how these readings work out. For those of you who do answer this ad, please email me. I’d like to treat you all to dinner to find out if it was an uplifting experience for you. Shall we say…. next Saturday….8:00pm…..Hooters?
The Cvillean 
You are a delightful peach Al, you brighten up the dullest day with your wit. x
Thanks, Jane. Only trying to spread the humor created by other wacky people. Thankfully, I will never run out of material.
Pssst, don’t tell anyone, but I think you’re on a safe wicket there Al. 🙂
Love those Cricket metaphors….or was that Croquet?
Cricket ‘ol Bean….I love the RAF ones too….like ‘Chocks away Biffy’….can’t beat those either. x
Holy bazoombas, Batman! There are more puns in here than the Joker’s Pun Factory. Good job Al. If the Freshly Pressed people missed this, then they are the real boobs! 🙂
Yeh! You know it, Lorna. If they pass this one over I hope those boobs get freshly pressed!
I’m interested in what the 48 means too…. inches? minutes? seconds? dollars?
definitely an interesting occupation to consider… especially with such ‘surprisingly accurate results!’ Maybe he’s talking about the fact that people actually responded!!
There’s only one way to find out what that 48 refers to, someone has to go in for a reading. I’d go, but I’m still only half-way through my gender reassignment surgery. What’s your excuse?
P.S. Missed ya gal. Guessing Peter is happily reunited with Wilson and you with Myrtle.
Wilson is still suspended mid air with excitement and his voice is several octaves higher with glee….
Myrtle was less excited to see me, but she did come out for a wander, which for a mid winter tortoise is high energy!
The girls very happy to have us back too, although they’d never admit it!!
You always make me chuckle
Most of the credit goes to those of whom I write, but thanks.
You had me at ‘psychic breast’. Sublime.
Thanks. I only hope I never lose sight of the duty I have to my readers.
This is fun. This blog is, anyway. Not so sure about the breast reading, can’t see what the poor man who’s offering his services would get out it. How absolutely selfless and good some people are, particularly men.
Before you ask, I saw your comment at Schmidleyscribblins and thought to do some non-breast-reading at yours.
Welcome Frito. Thanks for visiting. Any friend of Dianne is a friend of mine.
Her pseudo name is Friko. I know you’re going blind like David, so you better get those breast-reading days behind you. Also Marie left a choice comment about you on one of my posts, but I can’ t remember which.
You’ve already forgotten about my post on my “keyboard dyslexia” I see.
What’s the significance of the number “48” in the title of the ad? Is that a minimum requirement?
Good point. 48’s would kind of be the “War and Peace” of breast reading I guess.
That shoulda been ‘workshop’, but WordPress let me do it anyway.
An idle mind is the devil’s worship. Can men do breast reading? Dianne
We haven’t actually perfected it yet, but we will never stop trying as long as women are willing subjects.
Al, you are missing a great opportunity!
Down the years there have been empty plastic box parties, candle parties and underwear parties, the time is ripe for an new idea. Why not host a Psychic Breast-reading Party?
Since my shrivelled walnuts might prove of little interest, I am willing to pass round the canapés and glasses of wine. I would require a little recompense for my travel expenses and witty charm. I am thinking 40% of the evenings takings might be in order.
PS I suggest we get on with planning before my young niece returns from her travels. 😉
Hope your walnuts are not hanging low!!
Great idea, Marie. Since we have an ocean between us, how about a chartered breast reading cruise instead? The 60-40 sounds fair as long as you take care of the catering. How does a big walnut cake sound for the finale?
I’m home……. and suitably grossed out 🙂
Welcome back to the low rent district….my blog.
🙂 I’ve missed you!
being a lady of ample bust
for this offer I would not lust
I would prefer a tarot card
The result of being less than hard
This man must think we are all twits
To let him fiddle with our tits.
He says my future he can tell
My reply would be ‘go to hell!’
There once was a psychic named Al
Who thought he was everyone’s pal
But for reading a breast
He was put under arrest
Now his future is rotting in jail.
you are a wonder!!!!!
I think you should go first.
Chicken.