Let’s Hear It for the Grandfather Clause!

I believe most of you are aware of the “Grandfather Clause”. It came about as a way for politicians to pass unfavorable legislation by exempting all but new adherents to a new law. In other words, they admit the law sucks, but unless you are unfortunate enough to be a newcomer to whatever fields or policies are covered by it, you don’t have to obey it. You are considered “grandfathered” in to the old law. I suppose their thinking is that by doing this there will be so few railing against it at the beginning it will easily pass. By the time all those who are grandfathered in are retired or dead, everyone will be use to the law no matter how bad it is. New zoning restrictions are typically a favorite for grandfather clauses. I know, hard to believe politicians would be this devious isn’t it?

So what’s my point? With all these gender changes going on and new words for the “woke” among us to describe sexual orientation, I think it would be a good time for another one of those cool laws. Those of us who have lived our lives as men or women, referred to the other sex as she or he or Ms. of Mr., or used such barbaric terms as sister, brother, father, mother, daughter or son and nephew or niece are finding it very difficult to learn, let alone use all the new terms that are being cooked up on a daily basis.

Admit it, before the woke generation came on the scene you never heard the terms, cisgender, gender neutral, gender fluid, non-binary, bigender, pan-gendered, gender variant, two spirit,  Mx (for Mr or Ms) or Ze and Hir (to replace he/she and his/her) or my personal favorite, “Nibling” (to replace niece or nephew). Frankly, I’m afraid to address anyone as other than “Hey, you” for fear of insulting someone’s view of themselves. Thank goodness “you” is not gender specific.

As a grandfather myself I feel it incumbent on me to offer a solution. Pass a new law that will please both us “boomers” and the progressives that are forever angry over how we address them. In short, “grandfather” in everyone who was born before the year 2000. If you’ve got a 2 starting the year of your birth, under the new law you would be required to use all the gender neutral terminology.  First offense, a one week time-out at a predetermined safe space. Second offense, life in prison without the possibility of gender reassignment. If your birth year starts with a 1, you’re exempt and can actually refer to someone by their perceived sex. If you get it wrong, no harm, no foul. Of course, we’d have to wear an arm band at all times with a big “1” or a “2” stitched on it to identify us to the gender police, but hey, it worked for the Nazi’s, why not here?

There’s only one problem I see, the word “Grandfather” is too sexist. Perhaps call it the “Grandperson Who Currently Identifies As a Male” clause? Naturally, I would appreciate any suggestions for a more succinct phrase.

Don’t forget to tune in for my next blog post titled… A poll: “White Males, Should They Be Allowed to Live?”

Huh?

(Photo courtesy of Bing Images)

13 thoughts on “Let’s Hear It for the Grandfather Clause!

  1. I hear your confusion and understand it.

    I had four children, at first we believed three girls and one boy.
    One of the ‘girls’ was a real tom boy. Refusing to wear a dress (I’m not the type of parent who will push her kids into wearing clothes they feel uncomfortable in but my brother-in-law got married and ‘she’ was a bridesmaid), climbing trees, punching people square on the nose if they behaved badly, launching action heroes from balconies – that kind of thing. I’ll be really honest – I just never thought much of it. I just let each of the kids be whoever they happen to be. I more saw my role as to provide them with the opportunity to work out who they are. Whether that be musician, doctor, artist, teacher or sales person. It didn’t even occur to me that that also involved girl or boy.
    My ‘daughter’ started school, and more and more issues became difficult. Especially when puberty kicked in. My ‘daughter’ suffered from extreme depression. But we felt like there were many good reasons for that (extreme bullying at school, an exceptionally high IQ but ADHD and dyslexia meaning that was difficult to put that intelligence onto paper, a near death experience and a suicide in the immediate family were just some reasons we thought ‘she’ had good reason to feel out of sorts.
    But it turned out, my ‘daughter’ was not a daughter but a son. It took us all a long time to get there and a lot of therapy but I am so incredibly proud of the man he is becoming. I think the most difficult part for me was that I didn’t spot it, and help him with it earlier. I think I just adored that kid the way they were and just openly and blindly accepted any unusual traits without a second thought.
    Some time down the line and my youngest daughter came out as a lesbian. Aged 12. She has the most hilarious coming out story. We were at a party and there were lots of slightly older pubescent boys present. I was sitting by myself for a bit and suddenly this really strange feeling washed over me. I felt like my little one was experiencing something massive. If I had to guess, I would say a first very intimate experience. It was such an overwhelming feeling for me that I jumped up and hurriedly looked for her. I didn’t want anyone taking advantage of her. I found her sitting with a little girl, and then I just assumed I was losing it!!
    The next day she came to my room and asked me if you can marry your cousin’s cousin. Suddenly it all became clear and I yelled ‘it was Sofie’ – and then I asked her if she’s a lesbian. She loves the story, every time we talk about it she finds it hysterical. Like ‘my mum realized it at the same time I did, through some weird telepathy or something’.
    Al, it took me about half an hour to come to terms with it. Just because I hadn’t expected it. I had actually suspected one of my other children to be gay instead!! 🙂
    So I was quite happy with my gay daughter and my trans son (who as it turns out is bi). I announced everything in our annual Christmas letter – I renamed us the rainbow family.

    Then last year my now 14 year old child said she’s not a girl. Nor a boy. Something somewhere in the middle. And I am stumped. I can’t really get my head around it. We’ve been told no longer to say she but they. Which isn’t so bad in English but is terrible in German as they and she are exactly the same words. Just the verb ending changes. So if I use the they form in German I just sound like a stupid foreigner who can’t get her grammar correct.
    But it’s more than that, if I’m honest. I am really, trying my very best to be supportive, but I feel like something in my head has reached an end of a line. ‘She’ was such a girlie, girlie little girl. How can it be that ‘she’ is now a they? And, I feel so sad that yet another of my children doesn’t feel ‘right’ inside their own body.
    I keep hoping that it’s just a phase. Which is horrible, I know. But I hate saying they. It feels so unnatural. So unfitting. Almost impersonal?
    I think part of the issue is: I myself feel my own gender so strongly. I can’t really imagine how it is not to feel like that.

  2. It’s all so stupid. I’m from the generation of Helen Reddy – “I am woman, hear me roar,” which greatly upset by parents when I listened to it, and even more so when they discovered that I knew all the words and actually sang along. How dare I shout out my desire to be an independent woman who doesn’t need a man! Who in the H E double hockey sticks did I think I was anyway? Meek and submissive, barefoot and pregnant all the way. Those gull durned women’s libbers.

    I don’t know what the answer is to your dilemma but I will certainly need a guidebook to keep it all straight. Just call me Patricia – the unwoke and don’t give a crap that I am.

    Glad you’re trying to be with the hip crowd. Keep it up and let us know your progress.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • I’ll be serious for a moment (and you know how difficult that is for me). I really do feel for those that are gender confused. It must be very difficult living a lie versus what you really feel inside. My problem is that in typical liberal fashion the vast majority are asked to live by the whims of the few. That isn’t how it works in a Republic. Tolerance and rights for the minority is one thing (and a good thing) but “minority rule” is quite another.

      OK, off the soapbox. I haven’t see the movie “I Am Woman” yet but I expect you have. Is it good? Thanks for the comment! Have ya a good un’.

      • I actually have not seen the movie. I did have the vinyl record (probably still do in fact) that Helen Reddy recorded back in the early 70’s and I used to love that song.

        And, I hear you about genderly confused people, but I think that’s more of a thing now because it’s “trendy” and people tend to follow trends. Just like the gluten-free craze that went around a few years back. Suddenly everyone was gluten-free. Now you don’t hear about that as much any more. When people hear about something, they’re naturally curious so they explore the issue which in turn creates confusion and thus some people may now question their gender, when previously they had not. This is just my opinion. It’s cool to be abnormal nowadways so people look for something to be wrong so they fit in. I think this is a dangerous trend for little kids, especially ones that haven’t hit puberty. If a grown person embraces transgender, or whatever, it’s because they’ve dealt with the confusion long enough to know. But, kids? Kids haven’t lived long enough to “know” that they’re confused about their sex. Again, just my opinion. How many kids say they want to be this or that when they grow up only to discover that was a silly thing they just made up when they were a kid. No little boy truly knows what it’s like to be a fireman, but they say they want to be one. That might be a poor example, but I think you can see what I’m saying.

        Anyway, enough about that. You keep doing you. That’s what I appreciate most.

        Have a great rest of the week.

        • I’ll respond, but don’t feel you have to continue this thread. You make an excellent point. This country seems to have a herd mentality. For us to forcefully be asking little kids to question their sexuality is abhorrent.

  3. This is brilliant for our generation, but I would still feel sorry for those that follow. I’m like the guy in the picture scratching his head (except I am definitely a female by birth and by self-identification) and saying, “Huh?” This stuff is way past crazy. BTW, these things that you thought we had never heard of until the woke generation came along, I still don’t know what most of them are, and I’m cantankerous enough that I don’t care to learn it.

Your turn to write, but please don't be wittier than me. My ego is quite fragile.

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