A few months ago, Governor Jerry Brown passed a law in California regulating just how much cow manure and cow flatulence can be tolerated due to its effect on the atmosphere. This is a bold and innovative move on his part in the ever-present fight against Global Warming. I left this alone for a good while, but I can’t hold it in any longer (no pun intended). Such a forward-thinking act deserves no less than my renowned poetry to honor it. Not to mention I’ll use any excuse for a limerick!
Global Warming’s cause is the rage
But who thought it would get to this stage
Yet it’s now come to pass
That a bovine’s big ass
Will act as the cause’s new gauge.
Governor Brown is heading the push
To regulate ‘ole Bessie’s tush
If she continues to fart
He’ll be keeping a chart
And be hiding behind every bush!”
This law has no area of grayness
For the crime against earth is so heinous
The time has now come
To restrict a cow’s bum
And deal with their runaway anus.
Since cowpies are hurting the air
He’ll fight with his usual flair
And give them the axe
With a flatulence tax
So dairies better beware!
The next time you’re craving a cone
You’ll just have to leave it alone
And boycott the dairies
To support good old Jerry’s
Crusade for cows to atone!