Since moving here we have started a ritual of walking over to the beach every morning and evening with Queenie, our Labrador Retriever, for a game of fetch. It involves the greatest invention since the internal combustion engine, the ubiquitous “Chuck-It.” This clever device really levels the playing field for those of us in our later years of human development. Working much like a catapult, it allows anyone to pretend they are the Sandy Koufax of the beach. (Get it?…Sandy….oh, well) Anyway, following are my top 10 reasons to own a Chuck-it:

The weapon of choice

1. Avoiding surgery because you tore your rotator cuff while throwing fetch with your dog.

Cost of surgery – $10,000, cost of physical therapy – $3000, cost of a “Chuck-it” – priceless!

2. Giving your dog a stress free, low impact workout while you calmly sip coffee from your Starbucks, obscenely overpriced, state-of-the-art, insulated, go anywhere cup.

“Just mention this blog and this cup can be yours for only $179.99!”

3. Bringing back great childhood memories of when you were well-known and admired for throwing out runners at home plate with that golden arm of yours.

Big Al, All American…what a guy!

4. You can pick the ball up with it without bending too much, thereby preserving what little is left of your 3rd lumbar disk.

Hurry Queenie, the waves are awesome this morning.

5. The dog does all the work and then asks for more.

” He thinks this is hard but this salt water buoyancy is a piece of cake.”

6. Bikinis

Hey, Big Al, we’re over here….over here!

7. You have an attack dog to defend you when that beach bully kicks sand in your face.

“And if you do that to him again, I’ll do more than just sniff your butt!”

8. If you throw it too far out for the dog, the porpoises will bring it back to you.

Thanks, I could just kiss you for doing that.

9. It’s a good way to meet the 150,000 other dog owners in the neighborhood.

A “light” morning at the beach

10. And last, but most importantly, it provides an easy topic for a blogger who would rather be at the beach.

No, Queenie, let’s play some more or else I’ll have to go write a blog!